[[feel the fate]]

2011-06-16T08:56:00.001-07:00

I saw this article on facebook, translated by locker ceekay. it's an article about the deteriorating attitude for dance in tainan, and ceekay + ks thinks it's applicable to singapore too.

Although I agree with certain points made in the article, there are still many points brought forward without much thinking, a bit insensitive too.

Article: My own comments are in blue

Firstly, this is a very sentimental and extremely unhappy article.

It's about the undesirable state of the street dance culture in Tainan.

Back in the older days, when our pioneers of Tainan worked hard to promote street dance,

not many were willing to join in and help.

Now that times have changed, with strong influences from TV media and movies,

the street dance scene in Taiwan is way much better than what it used to be 10 years ago.

However, I would like to say, to all the dancers in Tainan,

in a city of poor condition like ours,

with 3 dance studios that took great efforts to run, and also so many professional crews...

Why aren't you cherishing what you have?

(list of the 3 dance studios in Tainan)

1 ID無限舞蹈休閒館

2. 美思表演藝術中心

3. DANCE MOTION舞勢能

these 3 dance studios tried really hard to promote dance,

and pushed tainan's street dance scene to be comparable to Taipei as well as foreign cities'.

but what's exasperating is, the studio owners have many troubles and the dancers faced many problems.

all the efforts that they put in to organise events, hiring dance instructors from all over the country as well as from overseas,

working so hard to provide everyone an easy path to learn dance,

so that everyone wouldn't have to travel far to take dope classes....

and then?

Many people thought that, just because they've danced for many years,

they can afford to stop learning. And that's very undesirable.

Many people does not have the right mindset, attitude,

with no knowledge of the history and origins of the dance,

and just dancing aimlessly. what have you truly learnt? just purely moves!

do you know what move is that? why is it done that way? what is it called?

who invented it? if you don't even know all that, how could u know the way to dance better?

See.

How many people can continue learning dance even after they graduate from their schools? They stop learning to pursue other things, more rational things, like money.

How far can dance take you?

How many people actually succeed in making dance their careers?

Cannot blame people for stopping one!

Because, they took a step back, and they thought of their own futures.

I know history and origin is important for any kind of art form, helps you understand things better, know why you're doing this and how it came to exist.

But ultimately, why do you dance?

Coz your body just moves to the music, simple as that!

It feels good!

Do you even have to have an aim when you dance?

Just enjoy the moment!

to me, not knowing what you are learning and the culture of what you do,

is just the same as MTV dances - copying and imitating continually,

without a story of your own to tell, feelings to really express, and dancing without your own soul...

it's just pure imitation of body movements.

think about it, are you even dancing?

secondly, YOUTUBE is NOT EVERYTHING.

to all of you, Youtube is for you to see the progress of dance nowadays,

and many people have improved because of this.

it's not a main channel for you to learn from,

as Youtube does not teach you what's mindset, attitude, self-confidence, and personal style.

of course, what you see might be routines or sets that have been practised millions of times.

although many people say that copying is the best way to learning, which i slightly agree,

i still feel that many people are not using the videos purely as references.

they just simply "ctrl + c" & "ctrl + v" to duplicate.

isn't that twisting the purpose of watching videos for reference?

some people even think that they don't need to go watch competitions,

and don't have to go for lessons,

because these competitions will always be posted on Youtube for everyone to watch.

To people who think this way, I can only say that you're most stupid and foolish.

This is why you always can't qualify through auditions,

forever not knowing what you missed out from the classes,

not able to attain the knowledge and mindset that you can never get from videos.

Why is it that others are always winning, while you are always losing...

Why don't you just stay through the event to see for yourself what you can learn from the dancers?

point number 3: why do we need to spend money on dance?

many people would ask, why should we spend money to learn how to dance?

it's simple. a dance instructor would have spent years to learn and practise,

accumulating countless experience from competitions.

didn't they spend money on competitions and classes too? of course they did!

since they spent so much time and money to learn what they have learnt,

would they teach everything to you for free???

don't you need to pay to learn for any other arts?

piano, professional dance, drawing, music, do u get to learn all for free???

and why do dancers teach? it's not always because of just money;

many dancers teach for the sake of spreading the knowledge of the dance.

what you pay for the class is merely a token sum for the dancer...

if you don't go for classes, how do you improve and be different from others?

not everyone's a rich ass kid who can spend money any o how on dancing.

as much passion as they have,

if their money limits them.

what can they do?

i'm one of them.

we're poor okay.

we don't have truckloads of money to spend on dance classes.

we even have trouble settling our own meals. how to spend on this kind of unnecessary things?

youtube is a next best alternative for me.

without youtube, i won't be where i am today.

if dancers don't teach for money, who wants to consider it as their career.

point number 4: a deteriorating scene in school clubs.

many schools have dance clubs, which provides a place for students to learn dance conveniently.

however, sad to say, most students do not respect their clubs and take things for granted.

since most students get to learn for free,

they don't train seriously enough and are not putting in effort during classes by instructors.

most students would rather practise on their own, only to seek for help when they couldn't find a breakthrough.

otherwise, they would just simply give up on dance.

it's sad that they are not doing justice to the opportunity given to them.

some people would even ask:"where can i learn dance for free?"

and the reply would be:"oh you can go to this school/place,

ask them to teach you or slowly get to know them, they will teach you"

well i found that funny!

back to the problem about the school clubs.

if the seniors don't lead their juniors well, how can the club have a better future,

and provide a better learning environment for future juniors?

why people want to learn for free?

coz they no money what!

initially, hip hop also started from the streets, you teach me, i teach you.

it's the commercialization of this DANCE that made the money possible.

if ppl don't put in effort during school trainings then this is their own business right.

coz they don't know how to treasure FREE CLASSES LIKE THESE.

too much money.

point number 5: bad behaviour by dancers

most dancers do not clean up the rubbish that they leave behind at events,

or the places that they practised at.

this will often leave a very bad impression of dancers!

how do you expect people to continue to support dancers,

when we do not do our part to be morally responsible?

who will provide us venues if we don't clean up?

how will parents allow their kids to learn dance,

seeing that dancers are irresponsible people?!

i agree with this one lah. and many points above. too lazy to comment. but this one i must say something.

it was extremely disappointing after floor the love this year.

rubbish and bottles everywhere on the floor.

bubble tea spilt nobody bothered to clean.

pearls made the floor sticky.

oh. and drink bottles on top of equipment boxes that are out of sight. =.=

also, many people lack respect and manners nowadays.

if you see fellow dancers at a session, at least say hi or even just nod at them!

don't pretend that you didn't see them.

there are even people who don't greet the senior dancers!

we always preach about respect, but who really respect for real?

last but not least,

I will always believe in my own motto -

"DANCE IS NOT JUST DANCE. ALWAYS CARRY A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY TO PASS ON THE RIGHT KNOWLEDGE AND MENTALITY."

even though i'm not dope, i'm not rich,

i will still be responsible for what i do and who i am.

so since you've made your choice (to dance), you gotta work hard.

otherwise, i advise you to quit, and find something that you really love to do.

don't waste years of time, only to find yourself back at square one.

i hope we can all work hard together and help to change our dance scene to be a better one!

PEACE

TAINAN B-BOY

KENNY

Translation by CeeKay (:

I think.

Richness is a relative concept.

HE says he's not rich.

But he can afford dance classes and stuffs?

Look at who's poor.

Hip Hop dancers were poor.

Look how far they went.

COMMERCIALIZATION of dance made it for the rich.

those points on morality, respect, humility i fully agree with the dude.

but seriously.

youtube and everywhere, i respect and treasure all avenues of learning and do whatever that is within my means to improve.

be it copy paste AND EDIT.

Better than sit there and do nothing.

2011-06-03T08:12:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think.

it's kinda sad that i have no one to turn to to tell them my worries.

they're either the ones that im angry with, or the ones that i don't dare to approach.

either ways.

i often bottle things inside myself or tweet it.

and when i tweet it it becomes a major issue.

so i had to delete off a whole bunch tweets for PR reason.

freedom of speech huh.

anyways.

i think i've mentioned that im stepping out of my comfort zone to choreograph an item for my club's production.

the only year 1 choreographing smth.

you would expect a hoard of year 1s to support me fully and whole heartedly right.

even if don't like also join me that kinda thing.

but it totally didn't happen.

was soooo disappointed in them.

where is the brother hood. or sister hood for that matter of fact.

not only did it not happen.

they totally didn't bother to think about my item.

just signed up for the other senior's items.

and then tell me that they have hit their 4 items limit.

maybe you're uber confident about your own dancing abilities and assume that everything that you audition for you will get in lah.

whatever lah.

some people are just born better like that.

they have smth to be cocky about.

but i believe life is fair.

the people in my item.

i will treat you guys like ma darlings.

coz without you guys.

this item will not be here.

i will do anything to pwn the other items.

although my dance history very little.

i will try to gain as much vocab as possible.

for it's the people who support me that matters.

not those who do not.

and those who do not are not important to me at all.

im just gonna shut my ears to whatever they say.

2011-05-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

LONG TIME NO SEE YA'LL PEEPS.

I'm sure no one will be reading this hahahaha.

Lemme just blow off some of the spider webs and dust.

-chokes cough cough-

When social media becomes so widespread.

Everything you post = what you say in real life

Your real opinions.

Things get real tiring.

You get hurt.

My oversensitivity gets me crazy.

I get hurt a lot a lot.

Because I treat the online alias, as the real person itself.

Things have been really shitty for me.

But at the same time so many wonderful things happened as well.

Shall talk about the good stuffs first.

Edward's ma battle partner!

Woooo.

IT IS DAMN nice to have people who love dance as much as you do, or not even more.

Freestyle, drilling moves, groovin around.

Really no better partner than him already.

So glad he's around to guide me on how to freestyle and how to train with a partner.

Gained soooo much from partnering him.

Can't express ma gratitude enough.

Madoka's COMING

HOMFG

cannot tahan.

wanna go to his class.

but asshole ppl dont want to help me buy first.

is it must give incentive?

- Bad stuffs -

I'm really sad that me and ma partner's training slot falls on sunday 7pm.

Ppl tell me, if they can't even commit to this, how can they commit to your item.

Though it's true, people need their family time one ma.

What is dance compared to family?

When you break your leg, dance won't be there for you!

It'll desert you.

It'll make you fall into the darkest abyss.

But who's there for you to pull you out of that agony?

YOUR FAMILY.

I know how it feels.

I already gave up all my weekdays because I work and I dance after that. Even on saturdays, training ends at a time I can't make it back to Pasir Ris in time to join my fam for the only meal of the day. Only day I can spend with my fam will be sundays. And sundays, usually will be relative visiting time, go to relative's house, have dinner together and have a nice long chat.

Now I really don't know how I'm going to spend time with my grandmas and granddads.

When they know I'm going back to visit, they always cook my favourite dishes and they'll watch me lick up every drop of sauce on the plate.

I can give that up.

I know I'll struggle, but I signed up for this, I have to commit.

But knowing that the ppl that want to do my item are going to go through this same ordeal.

I cannot tahan.

But I cannot understand.

Why MUST sunday slot?

At night summore.

I do notice there are biases in giving out the slots.

Don't look down on junior choreographers okay.

(f psd)

The most we train at scape.

THE PLACE WHERE IT ALL CAME FROM.

2011-04-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

alas...

this urge to type has brought me here again.

too much writing does harm to my hands i swear.

HAHAHAHA.

okay it's 3:28AM right now.

and i'm in the midst of my BGS revision.

actually not even midst.

just finished 1 chapter.

gee gee.

im supposed to finish 3 today.

kinda read through everything and got the geist of it.

but i gotta put it inside my head.

why doesn't the put notes under the pillow trick work.

then again if it works then nobody would have to study anymore.

just sleep more.

isn't that an awesome world.

okay i think im going mental.

shall sign off now before i do something potentially dangerous

2011-04-07T04:11:00.000-07:00

HAHA

Hello world.

It's been a long time since I blogged.

Was trying to find an outlet to express myself without having to garner too much attention anywhere else.

And I'm back here.

It's currently the exam break and I've been studying diligently (i hope).

I have 3 papers and all of them are closed book exams.

FML.

One thing I hate doing is memorizing.

When we reach this stage in life, it's really not about the memorizing anymore.

Don't you think.

I think financial accounting is not supposed to be memorized!

All the ratios and the different accounts and whether they're debit or credit in nature.

At least let us have a cheat sheet?

Tonns of formula to remember!

Business, Government and Society is another mod that is not supposed to be closed book.

All the facts about how business affects gov and society and vice versa whateva.

What's the use of memorizing those?

I think all the profs should be like pam lim,

Open laptop exam.

BEST.

Ctrl F.

That's what helped me tide through the horrendous exam mugging period.

I really havn't been going out + shopping + hang out with my friends for a loooooong while already.

Freakin worn out from this semester.

Can't wait for all these to end.

Just taking a break from the FA memorizing,

gotta go memorize summore.

oh not to mention practise.

Thanks ah.

Whoever who invented FA.

You just made my life worse.

FUCK YOU.

LOL

ciao. anyone who's still reading this.

2011-02-18T03:03:00.001-08:00

actually life has been so hectic.

i hardly find time to sit down and reflect on the day.

all my feelings are poured out in an instant on twitter.

if i want the world to know then i put it on facebook

blogging just takes up a lot of time.

honestly i would rather spend the time resting.

HAHA

unless well

i have a lot of feelings kept inside of me that i wanna release at one time.

i'll come back here.

for now.

please check facebook.

maybe i'll write an entry during the one week holidays.

hardly check this place anymore.

writing an entry now,

because ironically im in the midst of the busiest moments for half of the term,

but im tired.

taking my mind off those black and white sheets of things.

studying for a module called business, government and society.

closed book.

fuck.

there's no reason why i should memorize that shit.

like seriously.

=.=

okay back to studying.

i know the structure of this post is really bad.

just sieve the info urselves thankyou.

EHHEHE

2010-10-07T00:43:00.000-07:00

mmm.

time's really very short for me.

i still have a lot of things that i want to do.

but school work is seriously weighing me down.

no more is the freedom that i had after a lvls...

even blogging on this blog.

unless i really have a lot of time.

hahha since nobody's really reading this.

i guess i can leave this blog aside for a moment.

will blog unless i really really have the time.

or when i really need to.

^_^

SO.

H.I.A.T.U.S

until god knows when!

ciao!

2010-10-01T22:41:00.000-07:00

Okay these photos are exclusively for http://aceshooter.blogspot.com

3rd party usage is permissible, just credit me if you do so.

All pictures are drawn by me. :) Enjoy

WHEN woman malfunction!

okay.

honestly.

i felt very disturbed by these sights when i see them.

not that it's socially wrong to look like this or something.

but i just feel like laughing out loud when i encounter such stuffs.

but when i try to look around for someone who might be sharing the same sentiments.

nobody seems to be affected by it.

so i thought id share them pictorially (coz that's the only way to show you the seriousness of the issue).

below are the issues drawn by my own hands.

from my own brain.

and are in no way an exaggeration.

#1 - What's wrong with your bra?~

okay please don't get me wrong

I am not racist, but this really came from an indian girl.

She was presenting her biz law presentation to the class and I can't help but notice it.

BECAUSE THE FREAKKING NIPPLES ARE LIKE PROTRUDING DAMN OBVIOUSLY out of her white coloured semi translucent so called formal blouse.

and the amazingness doesnt end here.

her left nipple and right nipple aren't on the same level.

the left one is actually AT THAT POSITION.

then i came up with 3 conclusions

1. her boob grows naturally this way

2. her boob is sagging

3. her boobs are so big she can rotate them in any direction she wants and stuff it into her cup.

mm.

i would suggest she get a mirror at home?

or she not watch porn videos before biz law presentation.

because the nipples are way too perky to be in a normal state of excitedness

oh slap me

i should be listening to the presentation instead

#2 - Spill-over effect

and for this

please dont get me wrong again?

it's not her excess flabs.

yes those lumps spilling out of her singlet are actually boob lumps.

i got so freaked out you know.

when i stood beside her in the mrt.

her bra was so small it literally pushed the excess boob flesh out of the arm holes.

gawd dyam it.

i think guys would like to see that.

but i dont.

#3 - You underestimate your boob size

i was standing in the bus one day.

this lady was sitting down and playing with her iphone.

but i can't help but notice this.

from the outside.

her boobs were actually segmented into 4 sections like this.

= 4 lumps.

her cup was too small to contain the other half of her boobs.

so the other half totally got squeezed into excess lumps and appeared as supernatural growths on her body.

seriously.

on a lighter note.

let's end things brightly.

MBLAQ IS COMING TO SINGAPORE ON 4TH DECEMBER!!!!!

KYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally siah

i wait sibeh long.

ni lao niang hair going to drop out already.

^_^

my sexy seung.

must knock him unconscious and rape him before he returns to korea.

RAHRHAHAHAHA~~~

*seung ho in Y dance. position in preparation to make the Y alphabet*

KYAAA.

2010-09-26T05:39:00.000-07:00

Haven't been blogging lately.

How come I seem to start the post of like that.

^_^

Too busy to really consider doing anything else other than

1. mugging

2. doing projects

3. having meetings

4. sleeping

but currently.

although school work is killing me

and the stress is intoxicating me bit by bit.

im kind of relieved that there's always dance to save the horrible day.

and after this term.

my workload will be much lesser and more relaxing.

biz law is a shitload to mug.

ltb is a shitload to do

twc is a shitload to crap

and stats is a shitload to listen.

the only lesson that i enjoy right now?

stats.

LOL

because there's no class participation.

hurray

anyway.

ive thought a lot about my dancing abilities.

i was so depressed that i was doing so badly.

but.

i seem to have forgot that compared to the people around me.

i really haven't been dancing for a very long time.

just because i have that little bit of psychomotor advantage in me, and ive been doing well for normal ghetto hiphop.

it doesnt mean that i'll be great in other hiphop styles as well as non hiphop styles.

moreover.

my basics are so weak.

i still have a lot to learn compared to my dance peers.

accepted the humility.

because this is when i will grow most.

like karen said: take joy in knowing that you can improve.

mugging biz law now..

just blogging a bit to take my mind off that fuckin topic.

as much as i like it.

but it's really a shitload.

LOL.

GARA GO

post some other day.

2010-09-19T01:23:00.000-07:00

oh mannn.

i know i havn't been blogging for a long time so pardon me.

currently in one of the deepest parts of my life now.

i lost my confidence to dance.

when the music plays i wont move.

i can't even execute the move according to what im feeling coz

im not feeling anything.

then work is piling up.

tests are coming up.

im mugging and mugging but nothing is going in.

my head's in a big whirlpool.

will blog more 2 weeks later.

coz im currently mugging for my mid terms.

craziness.

the workload is... really

quite ridiculous.

why squeeze so many things into a small timespan.

we can't learn anything like this?

and right.

to be honest.

i have not shopped around the city area after lessons

nor hang out anywhere for dinner/lunch with my friends outside of school.

sad life huh.

yesterday was actually the singapore gan clan association's yearly gathering.

lantern festival cum scholarship awards.

then right.

there was a mass hoard of china people there this year for some reason.

wtf

i can see they're not even members of the clan.

and then they just come in and then kkope all the food?!

until the members also got nothing to eat okay.

fuck yall tiong kok sluts and ah tiongs.

cheapo.

and right.

during lantern festival there will be guessing of riddles right.

WTF.

they keep going up and guess and guess and guess.

a bit the thickskin ymy.

and not say they guess correctly.

keep guessing wrongly one horh.

shows a lot about what's inside their head.

quote eminen: they got to get their cranium checked.

meanwhile.

let me go figure out what's wrong with my body.

2010-09-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

mmm.

i really should be posting 2ne1's comeback related stuff.

but im just too worn out, too busy, too moodless to do that at the moment.

just feeling very very packed.

let's see my schedule for today. (even though there's no school)

1. finish mugging what's left for biz law

2. mug my twc so that i can do class participation on tuesday

3. ltb meeting

4. meet aurina to do our statistics assignment

5. emix dance prac

6. solve 2 sets of biz law cases

7. finish up my math sums.

ltb, stats, biz law, twc, cca, all in one day!

gawdyamit.

(my new catch phrase)

O_O

lemme die right now.

2010-09-10T03:14:00.000-07:00

what a fateful day.
LOL
laugh all you want people.
but im still gonna post this anyway.

i was so stressed over studies.
meetings
woke up bloody early today slept damn late last night.

my mood was at its lowest.

doing my retarded maths assignment.
trying to concentrate.
but parents kept going. pour water for me... pack ur room

they think
hari raya = holiday
you know.

so i was so freaking fed up
i typed to my friend to complain
smth along the lines of my "fucking parents" keep asking me to do this do that

little did i know
the computer was connected to the big tv screen
and my mom and dad saw what i was typing.
(don't ask me why. long story)

=.= then they scolded the shit out of me for typing that lah.
THEN
I GOT EVEN MORE FED UP AND STRESSED.

LIKE WTS.
i cannot even type what i like?
i never say out what

they seriously dont know my internal state.
i try to not make them worry.
i try to act like im still happy.

then they really think im not stressed and demand so much from me.
purleeze luh.

four letter word only what.
say until i like
did smth damn wrong like that

im pissed
i say bad stuff
simple.

not like they pissed they never scold vulgarities like that lorh
they just never put it in a four letter word way.

and
my bro spilt water on my macbook keyboard.
****

FREAKKKKKKKKK
short circuit liao GG.

2010-09-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

wahhh!!!! my baby minki is so bad ass!

fucking jealous of her.

=.= she gets to wear all the fashion items i badly desire.

jeremy scott xray adidas jacket and pants.

jeremy scott adidas car licence plate sneakers.

T_T

2NE1's come back can't wait can't wait!

3 MVs at one go.

i think my eyes will pop out from all that goodness.

2010-09-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA!

Blogging in class now.
I know I'm bad but,
Just can't help it.

Hvn't been blogging for such a long time.

Been really busy with life.
Presentations and projects and all.
But I guess im equilibriating with the surroundings already

HEHE.
shall post some pictures up soon.
^_^

2010-08-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

know why i posted dance shoes?

HEHE

other than i really like them.

i have a good news to announce to the world.

dugudugudugudugudugu

I GOT INTO MY SCHOOL'S HIPHOP TEAM EURYTHMIX!!!!

oh yeah~

oh yeah yeah yeah~

AUDITION PROCESS.

went to school to meet aurina today.

then she said another friend was meeting us coz she was afraid to go alone.

so im like okayyy..

in the end wait until the friend also didnt come on time.

so we went up first

=.=

diao in the end her friend come like so relax like that.

act jin zhang only?

HAHAHAHA

then we mingled around first.

before heading to the dancing area

fredy and ryan from o school were teaching us a hiphop choreo

thank god it's hiphop

wah but they were teaching at such a freaking fast speed

it freaked me out.

took me a lot of concentration to drill the steps in.

everyone was like shag daoo`~~~

in the end they split us into groups of 6 and take turns to dance.

choreo first then freestyle.

i personally think i screwed up my freestyle lah. then choreo okok.

under stress i always underperform.

hahahaha

then after that we all finished our turns.

we went back to our sitting area to like stone and rest.

from the shagness

suddenly,

the emix senior came over and called out quite a number of people to dance again.

then me and the not selected ones were worrying.

"omgg those are the better ones right"

"die lah how"

then after hearing these comments my heart kinda sunk lah.

like shit.

im not chosen!?!?!

then after that they called us back into the dance area.

announce the results.

IM IN!

HAHAHAAHAHHA

means im too good dont even need to do second round.

COUGHCOUGH.

hehehehehe.

anyway so happy to be finally dancing in a CCA rather than freely and like go to studio and all.

loooove it man love it.

then after that i had my TWC meeting

wait for late people.

wait here wait there.

then the year 2s started quarelling dont know what fuck shit.

do project also need to quarrel one amazing.

in the end i got the wrong info from the members.

bcause they didnt even do their planning properly

and they made me research the whole of last night for nothing?

im damn fucking pissed.

all my hard work and time gone down the drain.

fuck

but luckily my mood was quite good after passing auditions.

then rushed down to PS

to get my daddy's birthday present.

i was so busy i actually forgot about my dad's birthday until my friend said it was her bro's birthday.

see how busy i am?

i never forget birthdays one lorh.

but smu is.

wah

workload is ...

im just speechless.

and then met inez and suting after movie.

so long never see them already

sat down and HTHT

i swear whenever i see them my troubles will just fly away.

HAHAHAHAH

i have to meet my darlings often.

to de-stress!

SEEYA GTG.

shirleen you secret blog stalker =.=

yinhong also.

LOL!

2010-08-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

so many people surrounding me.

in school, surrounded by school mates.

in classroom, surrounded by module mates (albeit with competitiveness burning in the air)

at home, surrounded by family members

but feeling so lonely deep inside.

where is that someone.

who's always there when i need you.

who's in the same shoes as me

who'll understand what im going through

who'll rant to me and i'll rant to you

and support each other, taking comfort knowing we're with each other

but there's no one there.

no one close enough

no one who's available like i am.

although they might be feeling what im feeling

i need a deeper connection with that someone.

....

if not i'll explode.

2010-08-23T03:31:00.000-07:00

wahhhhh

these few days really sibeh damn hiong.

1st week into sch and im mugging like shit already

spent my whole weekends mugging.

and still mugging now .

=.=

lessons are taking a toll man.

hopefully i find my balance soon.

2010-08-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

哎。真的。

我最近在想什么。

做了那么多笨笨又愚蠢的事。

现在弥补还来得及吗？

或者

把不愉快的事扫到地毯下。

永远都不要去理睬。

虽然朋友增多了。

但是知心好友都离开我而去。

我那么软弱的心灵，

要找谁来保护呢。

朋友来来去去。

能够依赖，依靠的

剩下多少

2010-08-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

okay ive just watched inception.

the graphics awed me.

the idea was inspiring

some of the ideas really jolted me and made me very impressed.

but ive got some stuffs on my mind

like.

many people are saying that the ending isnt clear.

but.

to me that is damn clear?

people say

1. ending doesnt show whether it's dream or reality

2. is it a reality or a dream?

seemingly similar questions

but different point.

i'll address them right now

1. obviously, if the spinning totem is shaky shaky and looks like it's falling, obviously it's gonna stop spinning anytime soon by physics laws. if it's gonna continue spinning it is to maintain a centre of gravity right. so even though the movie doesnt show it's stopping, you should know it's gonna stop.

2. definitely after cobbs kills himself with the jap guy after being in limbo, the scene from the plane and after that (reunion with family) is reality. if you're stuck in limbo, it means you're out of a dream, you're still sleeping, but you're conscious and you know you're sleeping. if you're already out of ur dream, you kill urself and get jolted awake in limbo, of course ure out of the dream. because u weren't in a dream AT ALL?~

basically that's that lah.

and right.

it's surprising how.

cobbs and team seem to remember each and every detail as they move between the dream layers.

but.

the fischer guy doesnt? and like recalls details with difficulty.

next.

inception worked on mal because she was in a state of limbo,

and she locked her totem away

she wanted to believe it was the real world.

but cobbs persuaded her so much she believed him

but really when she locked her totem away you know she's a bit mental already.

from the long time trapped in limbo

she's definitely confused herself over which is real and which is not.

that's why the idea planted into her head could work because.

she didnt know what was real or not

tadah.

but the thing is

in fischer's case.

he just dream of his father telling him to build his own empire.

and he woke up knowing it's a dream.

and he still believes it?

that's not going to convince me

PLUS.

destroying his father's empire is one thing.

selling it to another person to run is another thing.

have they thought of the fact that since they're almost monopolizing the power supply market.

if the company suddenly collapses.

the state would lack power supply?

and right.

fischer's definitely not so stupid as to just destroy the company like that

he'll just sell the company.

or let someone else run it.

and go build an empire of his own.

i got super confused at this part lah.

like the purpose of the inception didnt really match the client's goals.

loophole much!

2010-08-18T20:03:00.001-07:00

Just had my Biz Law lecture yesterday.

EVERYONE SEEMS TO KNOW EVERYTHING?!

WTF

then after a few moments of grieving.

i realised a few things.

1. some of them were poly students and they have taken law before.

2. they had a scholarship to maintain, so they were pressurized into talking a lot

seriously

i don't think class participation should be taken so literally and seriously.

it should be more of a give away.

smth like.

if you do not participate you don't get any marks.

if you just .. ask a couple of times, shows that ure not afraid to speak up.

then you should get full marks.

and not what my previous professsor described:

one class speak 4 times.

LIKE WTH.

her class has about 50 people.

if you speak once im assuming it's 30 seconds

X4 would be 2 minutes.

that'll be like 100 minutes.

plus u have to wait for an answer from the prof.

so it's 200minutes.

and mind you lecture's only 3 hours.

which is 180 minutes.

how to make everyone speak siah?

don't even need to teach already like that?

im not saying class participation is bad lah.

but the way they're assessing it is badly flawed.

they should come see my analysis and slap themselves awake.

----- more on my biz law lecture yesterday----

i was sitting beside 2 indians.

not that i have anything against them.

but they smelt like sour armpits.

kept talking non stop. (not within themselves but to professor)

KEPT TALKING AND TALKING no raise hands.

in the fucking irritating and heavy indian accent.

and her voice is SUPER HIGH AND CHIMY.

goodness.

i felt like i could box her anytime can.

next lecture im just gonna sit somewhere else

because of the bloody stupid way of assessing class participation.

this was the first time i felt so stressed in class

i wasnt even like that during a lvls okay.

this is a few notches up.

my heart was crashing on my rib walls so bad.

because.

i was anticipating when i should speak what i could contribute.

while worrying if people would cut in and say something else.

and trying to remember my point

while listening

without getting distracted

and absorbing at the same time.

fuck lorh.

this is going have adverse effects.

i didnt know the class participation was so stupidly taken and assessed at all.

annnyyyways.

just kinda pissed.

but ended the day off well lah.

just super tired.

even more tired than jc where i would wake up at about 5.30 an reach home at 7pm.

this was just 3 hours.

and the worst part hasnt come yet.

it's gonna start during week 4.

when all the presentations and assignments start crashing onto us.

but i like this kind of assessment.

because not so much weightage is placed on final assessment.

so there's no sudden death

at least.

well im now accustomed to this craziness already.

just gonna be true to myself.

nth dont talk

got thing then talk.

dont get forced.

^_^ quoting rino nakasone: you can't please everyone, so just be true to urself.

anyway

after lecture.

i hopped down to SR1-1

to get my laptop configured.

seriously the people are damn good lah.

diy clinic totally taught us wrongly can. =.=

macpros are love.

configured everything successfully.

just the email.

and it's not their problem.

it's the school's network settings.

cocked up. ahahahaha

kk ciao.

im gonna go study some more.

T_T yes im afraid i'll ahve to do it everyday.

2010-08-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

AHHHH

just ended first day of school.

let me just briefly describe what happened.

no time to write detailed entry and colour my key words already.

TWC - Technology and World Change

Reputedly this is the best TWC professor you should bid for for TWC lah.

She's this big shot technopreneur who set up her own whatever empire god knows what.

But she's a bit haughty, from what I felt.

She disses your queries sometimes.

Then this fucking class is so competitive I almost died inside there lah.

The people were all like snatching to answer questions.

It's a culture shock.

SERIOUSLY.

Not giving others a chance at all.

then like immediately there was an inclass research and presentation

LIKE WHAT THE SHIT.

SO FAST?!

BLOODY HELL in nus hvnt even got their tutorials yet?

I ended walking out of the class in a daze.

Like what the shit just happened.

The usual audrey that talks a lot and poses tonns of questions.

Actually dropped to this state where she didnt even speak a word in class?

And there's class participation points of 20%

I can kiss my marks goodbye already

STAT - Introductory Statistics

Luckily for us.

This korean professor is quite new to the school culture.

He mistook class participation as class attendance.

HAHAHAHAHA.

So it was nice sitting in his class just absorbing like a sponge.

without having to worry and stress about saying or asking anything.

LOVE IT.

but just dont like the way he puts simple concepts into such cheem words.

until it made the whole class kinda drowsy and sleepy lah.

but it was a nice way to end the day.

and nice relaxing time after that strenuous TWC lesson

In conclusion.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL ISNT MEANT TO BE LIKE THAT !!!!

2010-08-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

Stupid internet's been fucking up these days

I really look forward to a post that i don't have to use the F word.

But I just can't.

All because of his sudden confrontation yesterday.

My mind's in bloody disarray now.

Is it really my fault im posting all those stuffs up?

Why don't you guys reflect on what you did?

And come apologize to me.

OR MAYBE

they're so insensitive they dont even realise im hurt

AT ALL.

still come and agitate me.

make until i forget to bring my phone out today T_T

shit lurh.

sucks being a blood type A.

super sensitive one.

cannot be mentally resilient.

and right.

i think the people in my OG.

should have seen my hints on my fb.

but all didnt bother to come say sorry.

but they ignored my fb comments on their stuffs instead.

i really think.

when ure with a bunch of ppl in ur comfort zone.

u'll really fail to see what's really happening.

and be self delusional.

and live in ur own happy lala world.

while someone is being hurt each day.

in pain.

craving for some attention too.

2010-08-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

I honestly.

don't know what to say anymore.

Last night I received a call from my camp mate.

Which i refused to pick up coz it's already past midnight.

Then a msg came saying

"Explain yourself. I'm serious"

Then i replied back lorh

"? Explain what? I commented on your page that I'm in the same biz law lesson as you"

Feeling super weird like wtf is happening.

so many hints from my fb page and they dont even bother to look

and now he's calling me regarding my fb?

msg came

"if you want to explain you would have done so sincerely. ok point noted. good night."

then i was like WTF?

why this guy so wishy washy.

just cut straight to the point.

anything that offended you just tell me

then i sent a long message explaining what each of my fb updates were.

and who it was implying.

non of the latest ones had anything to do with him.

then he rang again.

i forgot how the convo went.

but basically he's giving me a big lecture on the uses of facebook

"people are going to judge you from what you post. your future employers.

everyone can see what you're posting.

u know what im trying to imply...

usually i post things i make sure it adds value to people.

and make sure it doesnt have any implications"

basically

he was out of the house

then he received a call from someone saying smth's happening on fb.

regarding me lah.

then the latest things i posted were on his wall saying: same biz law lecture as you!

and on my wall saying. OMGG WHY SAME SLOT AS...

seriously i dont see how the person can link these 2 together and go ring up this guy lah.

same slot as can mean a lot of things.

im referring to my sec school friend can.

seriously who's this hyper sensitive fucker.

if you've got guts stand out to me and confront me.

and not ring up this other guy and ask him to settle things for u.

seriously.

1. im not a disney princess. anything im not happy with i just post. subtle or not. u should be smart enough to take the hint that im unhappy and come comment at my status. and not hide in one corner and read what im trying to imply.

coz since i bother to make it public. im not trying to hide anything.

2. fb is where i express my current moods. not being a goodie 2 shoes. i say what i want. and now ure asking me to delete it coz it makes u unhappy?

you guys who treat me like im transparent.

then come stalk my fb?

i can't understand

and honestly.

although i forgive that guy for not calling already.

I AM STILL SULKY OVER staying out for so long.

he think forgive 1 day okay one is it.

and 3. if you guys treat me as transparent. u all wont bother to go see my wall and track what i posted and what shit right. why suddenly go see what i post. you guys never even bothered to write on my wall once.

can't u see that im trying to catch ur attention also.

and now they're thinking im the one who's wrong

posting stuffs like these

have u guys every reflected about yourselves?

what you did that make me post these.

srsly horh.

now that there's this grudge btw that guy and me.

our biz law lessons can GG already.

FUCK LAH.

im gng to search that guy out.

whoever that guy is.

2010-08-12T02:32:00.001-07:00

and another thing.

my loves.

if ure asking why i stayed outside for so long.

even though the fireworks ended and stuffs.

and they still hvnt contacted me.

was because.

i didnt want to let my parents know how they're treating me.

if they knew.

i think they'll be super heartbroken.

so i stayed until about 9.30pm around there.

just about enough buffer time to allow me to lie that i watched the fireworks and chatted a bit with the people.

MY LIFE IS SO SAD WITH THEM.

I NEED TO SEE MY LOVESSSSSS !!

2010-08-12T02:15:00.000-07:00

Convocation ...

Yesterday...

I'm not the kind who'll get excited over official school events and be rara about it.

I like to take control of my life and do whatever I want.

BUT.

I still went.

With hope that they might like ask about me.

And like apologize further.

I went to tampines mrt to catch the shuttle to sentosa.

Met webster!

HAHAHAHA

then yanru!

oh my god so good to see familiar faces.

made my journey there soooo laughable.

my ballooning people are the best.

so i went there and met theo and sylvia.

div too.

was quite fun.

saw aurina with her mom too.

even saw huang...what's her second word to her name.

anyways leanne and reema's classmate.

jinli

my ballooning people and vj people .

best.

then my camp guy started calling me.

telling me to meet em.

girls went toilet in a bunch.

came back BLOODY HALF AN HOUR LATER.

still need me to go toilet to find them.

THEN GOT ANOTHER CALL.

tell me to go back because the girls returned.

like on my way there i didnt see them at all!?~

i dont suka suka pick up calls one.

my friends know that.

but you guys call i picked up hoping to bond more with yall

in the end

it was a bloody waste of my calling credits lah.

stood around with you all.

the only thing you guys said to me was HI.

didnt even bother saying sorry another time?

MAKE ME WAIT OUTSIDE FUCKING LONG.

just by single email u want me to forgive you totally.

no way man.

and seriously that ji bai just didnt bother saying hi to me at all.

flirt flirt flirt whole day flirt.

the girls kept talking among themselves lorh

the guys also

then guys talk to girls girls talk to guys.

u know the permutation lah.

anyways. IT WAS ALL INSIDE JOKES HORH.

didnt even bother including me and all?

fuck lah.

if it wasnt necessary to sit with you guys i would have trashed you guys from my memory.

anyway sat together.

and i was sitting btw the girls and the guys.

the girls can skip me and talk to the guys and the convo just go across me one ok.

honestly.

at that moment.

i didnt care already.

after the whole thing

i just went to join theo.

and my ballooning people again.

then after that my phone kept ringing ringing.

i knew they were trying to find me.

but i didnt wanna pick up.

and i hoped that i wouldnt see them at all.

but alas they spotted me.

"eh audrey do you want to join us?"

(in my mind. what? now u want me to go there and suffer?)

"ohh!~ okayy so where ya'll going?"

(go and die lah my heart cannot believe you guys again already)

"i dont know! but it's after this"

(WTF. DONT KNOW GO WHERE ASK ME FOR WHAT?)

" nah i think im going with my ballooning people *flashes wide grin*"

(qu si la. i swore never to heck you guys again in my whole life. dont need you all at all)

seriously horh.

what's the point.

see me dont talk to me

ask me along but dont include me.

WHATS THE POINT.

so i just cabbed out with my balloon people.

and went home.

and youtubed.

seriously didnt do anything very tiring that day.

but i was just mentally very tired from how they're treating me.

i dont know which side of my personality i should use to interact with them already.

they dont even care one.

just heck lah u know.

i got a bunch of loves who care about me and love me a lot.

hope we'll never cross paths with each other again.

2010-08-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

haahaha

had so much fun with my ballooning bliss people today

went to karaoke

bunch of mad and fun people.

and then while i was on my way home it got me thinking again.

i fb-ed about the incident last night.

some other camp member came to fb me to ask me what happened.

like.

that means the other people dont know what happened at all?

are u trying to hide smth like this?

and the thing is.

i posted that depressing left out of my camp grp status update.

only my faci and that guy commented.

the rest didnt even bothered like commenting ok.

whereas the other camp people just update their status with rubbish.

ALSO CAN BECOME ONE LONG CHAIN OF MSGS OK.

espp this girl

who was struggling to leave or stay at smu

chose ntu in the end.

every of her updates the camp members reply one ok

WTF

purposely one lorh they all

fuck you guys lah

u dont appreciate me

i srsly dont care u know.

the most i unfriend all of you guys in facebook

to save me from misery?

2010-08-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Went out with my family to concorde hotel today

To try their buffet spread.

Although the spread was small.

But the quality of the food was not bad.

Had chocolate fondue. Basic cold cuts and sashimi.

Dim sum, Hot food.

But I was a teeeny weeny bit disappointed with the desserts lah.

The chocolate from chocolate fondue was too oily.

The cakes were not very nice.

Strawberry mousse was presented in A BIG BOWL.

Jelly also nothing amazing.

Want to satisfy this person here with a sweet tooth is difficult de horh.

Actually I'm supposed to meet my FTB grp people for a potluck kinda thing at changyi's house.

But I had to eat with my family so I told them I couldnt join them for lunch,

But I could go see the fireworks with them.

All excited to meet them.

Again.

To bond with them.

So SMSed them.

and they said after confirmation they'll get back to me.

It was about 4-5 pm i guess? that i sms-ed them.

So I just walked around orchard.

This guy came to me and asked me for a survey.

ASKED ME IF I WAS KOREAN LOL.

funny guy siah.

then

Coz he opened a breakfast shop at this weird part of orchard.

Healthy food stuffs lah.

So he measured my whatever weight and height and asked me some questions.

and told me my fat % in my body's 30%

and super unhealthy and ideal is supposed to be 15% or 10% or smth.

then my body weight's supposed to be around 60 or less.

but i stood on the weighing scale.

and it was 68KG!!!

WTF

then i was like.

OHHHH. just had buffet murhhh.

anyway

he was crapping so much i got so frustrated.

i was like.

erm

can u cut to the point.

then he got scared and just handed me the flyer.

HAHAHA

and thanked me for the survey.

then checked my phone. no reply.

so i went to 313 to walk around.

went to limited ed vault asked if they carry adidas originals.

then he tell me only marina bay sands have.

like wtf.

i can't like anyhow move.

what if my camp mates called me and i have to go to the place fast.

so i didnt get to see my shoes in the end.

walked around summore.

hmv

cotton on

forever 21

uniqlo

epicentre

nope still no msg

walked on to takashimaya

stepped into kino.

looked at stickers

looked at pens

looked at notebooks

no msg.

so i started researching on my graphic designing.

tryna get new inspiration for my works.

improve my techniques.

got sooooooo impressed by designers of certain products.

their art work

the simplicity

the details.

the form itself

SUPER SUPER inspired.

so much so im designing right this instant.

but what im designing.

not disclosable yet.

HAHAHAHAHA

will launch my pictures here when im done with the final product.

so i kept reading books

and reading

and checking my phone constantly every 2 mins or so

8pm

aint the fireworks starting around 8pm?

then i started to doubt their sincerity.

im not the kind of person who will

call and chase and ask where where where

coz i dont like to irritate people

and if they promised to tell me,

i expect them to keep to their words

but i continued reading and reading.

and i started to get so distracted while checking on my phone.

i couldnt even focus on the books.

then waited till 9pm.

which is like.

nat day parade gng to end already.

STILL holding on to this hope that they'll suddenly remember me and then

ask me out for supper.

but i waited till 9.30pm

fucking 9.30pm

no news.

I DIDNT EAT DINNER IN THE END.

drained both physically and mentally from all the focusing on the books.

plus walking around aimlessly for about 4 hours.

freakkin wasted fuckin a lot of time you know.

i could have used the time to create more art with my comp at home.

anyways i returned home fucking fucking pissed.

checked facebook

DIDNT EVEN SEND ME A MSG LEH?

then i updated my status

"am i really that unimportant to my ftb mates"

or smth along that line.

THENNNN

fb msg came

"oh sorry my phone batt died couldnt contact you sorry next time org outing specially for you... blah blah what the shit"

like.

after i update my status then the msg come?

but i cannot say anything else right.

so i just.

ok i forgive u since ur phone batt died haha

whatev lah.

honestly felt that ... his phone batt died

ok i should forgive em.

but then

i seriously doubt their sincerity

tonns of loopholes u know

1. the apology message came soon after i updated my fb status

2. if the msg came, means that person either had 3G or wifi access right. our faci actually sent us an email with our contact list. not even in excel format or need to be downloaded or anything. it's just in the mail.

SURELY, they could have checked my number up?

3. or is it they really stupid until never think of this?

i was very very angry lah

a smile broke out on my face only after a msg from aurina came asking me

about tmr's outing with BoB2 people

i seriously.

seriously dont know what to expect from people already you know.

the benchmark just keeps getting lower each and everytime.

just day before yesterday.

RGT commitee told us to assemble at school.

and then after we reached school. they told us to stone.

then tell us "actually we dont need you here"

1 hour passed.

carry few things.

go home.

WTF they dont know transport expensive is it.

then yesterday.

told us to report at 8.30

i woke up at fucking 6.30.

THEN.

reached school at 8.15

DRAGGGGGG UNTIL 9.30 briefing

STONE.

until 12 noon.

then start carnival.

LIKE WHAT THE SHIETZ?

if their time concept is like that sibeh the flexible one right.

THEN.

i can understand why they keep complaining that they can't finish their work on time.

and super stressed no time.

BECAUSE THEY CANT MANAGE THEIR TIME

urgh.

maybe i should just learn to accept all these you know.

coz this is what society's like.

and like make a mental note to come 1 HOUR AFTER STIPULATED TIME

email says: PLEASE BE PUNCTUAL

oh the irony.

2010-08-03T12:09:00.000-07:00

what could be nicer.

than a cup of tehbeng.

yeapyeap.

time for another update for my readers.

who have stopped blogging.

or simply are too lazy to maintain a blog.

i'm...

so nervous about school

about its intensity.

my grades

my everything.

people shooting down my comments.

people firing at my presentations what nots.

soo.

freakking paranoid.

i got assigned Business Law and LTB for Term 1.

LIKE SHUCKS business law?! wtf.

but found out from penguin that.

biz law exams ARE OPEN BOOK.

YAYYYY.

whoever tells me to memorise law stuffs.

go fuck your shit k.

but i heard.

even though it's open book.

its damn hard>

tough

and have lotsa readings

(how the fuck do you do presentations on business law?)

then im bidding for another 2 modules to add it up to 4.

dont want to do a 4.5

because business law and ltb are the 2 very shiong combinations

and figured out that it might help to ease me into the culture first.

sucking up and bootlicking.

HAHAHAHAHAA

oh the facade.

doing introductory statistics

and technology to world change.

hopefully.

those would be quite fun to do as well.

idk

im really.

quite...

uncertain about stuffs.

despite having researched so much about everything.

ARGHHH.

im afraid of the pressure that's coming.

the tremendous amount of work.

i want my life man.

like seriously.

ok sorry if this post sounds a bit...

here and there.

because my thoughts are not coherent now.

and it's running a lot of directions here and there.

i'll do a better post when i get more pictures of my not-so-interesting life.

that's GOING TO END SOON T_T

i like my brain being empty.

and stress free.

sighs.

it's really.

a torture to be born into this world right.

2010-08-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

okay shietz currently.

im still not very good at using the mac.

so i can't upload the pictures from my iphoto into my blogger picasa.

no idea how to.

but am exploring and loving every new discovery.

mmm actually nth happened to my life these few days.

im just very happy to be home and out of camp.

=.=

camps will drain my life outta me.

read through some bidding stuffs regarding studies.

preparing to bid on august.

hmm wonder if there are any strategies i could use ..

anyway learning the lucifer dance now.

aja fighting!

nth much to post.

just thought i might give you guys an update

2010-07-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

FTB - Freshmen Team Building camp

yes.

the legendary.

SMU interschool bonding camp.

i actually went to camp.

full of positivity.

knowing i will meet the best people out there at camp.

but everything just turned out wrong for me.

at the wrong moment too.

i was pretty tired and lacking sleep from B.0.B already.

and i have camp the day right after.

and it was tiring going through all the

what's ur name

what school are you from

what's ur previous school

what's ur cca

routine.

but i still did it

because

i wanted to make tonns of great friends.

ends up

that was almost all i did

i tried to talk a lot

i tried to engage the girls a lot.

but they just didnt

gave me back the same passion i gave them.

one liner answers.

without a returning question.

was i requesting too much from people?

i wonder.

maybe that's my assumption of pre-requisite to be in business?

then the girls started clumping up in their small little girly chatty grps.

and chatted about stuffs which i couldnt chat about

and it's just scary how all of them had the same hairstyle.

with me being the extreme exception of super short hair.

one girl even exclaimed:" oh look! we all have the same hairstyle!"

she didnt even bother going. "ahh but audrey has short hair"

i was like so.

FREAKIN

LEFT OUT YA KNOW.

it didnt feel like they wanted to include me at all

i was excluded.

i still tried my best though.

talking.

with my tired brain.

trying to play the concentration games with my haywired head.

alas

things didnt work out well

so i thought.

maybe it was my problem

did i look too fierce?

was i too ugly?

maybe i was too fat?

these might sound like silly questions.

but.

seriously lemme reason it out fer ya.

1. did i look too fierce?

obviously if my face is born like that. there's nothing i can do about it.

i did try to smile more and talk more though.

but fatigue really can't escape from ur face.

2. was i too ugly?

honestly the guys in my grp were very girl hungry

and the girls in my grp were so pretty and chio.

and probably they see me as an anomaly so they didnt wanna talk to me?

both guys

and girls?

was that why they clumped up in their chiogirl grps and didnt chat with me?

and i was feeling inferior at the same time.

so that really didnt help

3. was i too fat?

yes im fat. im 66.4kg with just a height of 168

i got big butt.

big tummy.

and the girls in my grp were all skinny and have sexy legs.

another inferiority complex.

and was that why. the guys and girls didnt want to talk to me too?

the world's superficial right?

no doubt

just to sum it up.

here's the puny amount of interaction we had

other than stupid ice breaker concentration games.

6 girls in my grp including me.

1 girl from vietnam which i chatted with so easily.

but left on the first day and never returned.

1 girl from TJ whom i chatted with

but preferred stickin to the long hair girls clan.

stickin in her own comfort zone not coming out.

1 girl from HCI

volleyball girl

generally friendly and nice

but still also preferred sticking to long hair girls clan

1 girl from ehh.. forgot where. ACJC?

also preferred being chatty girly.

last girl.

from CJ

i ask her questions she sian sian answer me.

sometimes dont even answer.

then other girls talk to her

she enthu like shit

keep replying and offered to sit beside them durin the bus ride to OBS.

i'm super afraid of loneliness

this kind of treatment is cannot ok.

so we travelled to obs.

i was too tired to try to break into their conversation

so i found myself stoning by the wall.

staying close to them hoping they would come take a glance at this dying soul.

2 girls sat together in the bus first.

then i sat alone behind them.

then the 2 other sat beside the 2 girls.

obviously trying to cut me out.

they didnt even bother to turn back and look at me

or to ask me smth.

they were so happy in their own little world.

that they found comfort

that they ignored other people's feelings.

so i said to myself.

it's not their fault for being like that.

it's my fault for being such a tomboy

no long hair

fat

dark

ugly

tonns of pimples.

it's really my fault.

then we reached obs.

played some freakkin night games.

then it's time to choose a tent.

surprisingly.

3 of the girls chose to sleep together in their chatty small grp.

while i headed for the other tent.

1 girl headed this way.

the one who treated me coldly

i doubt she wanted to keep me company.

she just wanted more space in the tent.

they.

can even go to toilet

without asking whether i want to go with them.

and go like "i think she will be here" (note that she's not gng. audrey will u be here?)

and then "eh help us take care of our belongings can"

u know how hurt i was not.

so after our bath and everything

it's the HTHT time.

i saw her handphone wallpaper.

it has eunhyuk on it.

so being the suju fan i was

i said

eunhyukkie?

she then got interested.

asked me whether i could speak korean

and stuffs

finally

she took notice of me

talked to me.

was asking why i was so antisocial when i decided to just plug in and stay out of that HTHT.

i was feeling so sad and fucking lonely

i started texting my friends.

text and text and text nonstop.

getting comfort with every message that appeared on my screen.

2nd day.

we played some dumb concentration games while waiting for morning meal.

i had some sleep

so i was a bit more awake.

but still feeling super depressed.

so i decided to run away.

just nice.

my client wanted to meet me for that project.

i was like YES.

so my mindset was. leave at early afternoon or late morning.

there was tunneling and rafting on the 2nd day.

so i was feeling a bit more interested and excited.

because i have long wanted to try rafting.

and tunneling sounded fun

so i decided.

okay after tunneling

after rafting i'll leave.

so tunneling time came.

and we had to navigate this tunnel by crawling in the dark.

and being the girls they were.

no one wanted to go first.

so i volunteered.

and really took care of them.

made sure they were safe in the tunnel.

and when we emerged from the tunnel.

everything seemed to change.

i started feeling like they were accepting me.

they even talked to me automatically.

i was so surprised.

and rafting was fun too.

built our raft

rowed it out to sea.

and back.

but we were all soaked salty.

so we went to take a bath.

it was evening already.

was planning to leave like SOON SOON.

but was touched.

they actually stayed.

and waited for me while i rummaged through my messy packing of clothes.

and after bathing i packed.

and got ready to leave.

and ran out alone to find my facilitator.

couldnt find my facilitator

so i went back

found they were gone.

felt sad again.

then ran up back the route

to see them chatting with my facilitator on the way to the canteen.

then they turned back.

OMG WHERE WERE YOU!!! we were trying to find you!

at that moment.

i really got gan dong dao lah.

so.

i decided to stay for dinner just a little longer to see what will happen next.

and when i told them im leaving.

so no need to buy koi for me.

one of the girls actually went

"harrrr! so you really leaving ahhh "

and then.

i got this weird

mixed

feeling inside my chest.

i dont know

whether to hate

or to love them?

but nevertheless

didnt want to leave at that point already.

but too late lurh.

so i left.

so .

i honestly

dont know whose problem is it

is it mine.

for expecting too much out of my peeps.

for expecting them to warm up like instantly

like my balloon girls.

to judge them so quickly.

or them.

for leavin me out

until they feel like letting me in.

2010-07-23T00:43:00.000-07:00

ahhh yes.
decided to blog
before i start to get uber busy again.

shall start from... let's see...

balloon training no.2

k so i honestly.
skipped balloon training no.2 halfway.
because i really had to meet this bunch of ARC girls.
hvnt met them for such a long time.
and it's hard to get 5 of us together.

so i guess it's worth it, even though i had to sacrifice quite a number of CIP hours.

so we went to teoheng for karaoke.
^^ surprisingly there was an offer for us. so we sang from 1-7pm and we all only had to pay 32 dollars altogether.
i totally wiped out their korean song collection lah. HAHA

which means each of us only had to pay about 6 dollars each.
how cheap is that man.
1 dollar for an hour?

mini balloon training.

yes~

this time mini balloon training.

we learnt how to make small sculptures.

haha yes with my old group.

full of stinky army guys.

but.

they seemed to have skipped it.

so i was all alone.

was rather pissed with the whole organizing for today.

because we were told the class is going to start at 9.30am

and it started a whopping one hour late.

was getting super grumpy.

(i really hate lateness)

after an hour

i was the only one in my group sitting in the SR

luckily for my friends making ability.

it got me chatting with a number of girls easily

and we had fun twisting

(albeit they were a bit non-chatty)

BAH business students.

learnt how to twist a couple of new stuffs

like the fish.

penguin

octopus

crab

(super cute)

then headed down with liying and qingqing

for the dbs event.

we had to twist balloons to help them to draw a crowd to sign with their savings plan and stuffs.

extra cip hours doing something fun.

why not~

fundraisings

seriously horh

this is the worst nightmare of my life

i seriously dreaded waking up and heading to tampines for fundraising

it was awefully tiring.

and there was a quota to hit

which added a lot of stress.

6 booklets of 10 tickets each costing 2 dollars

so in other words.

we have to sell 60 balloons for 2 dollars each?

like seriously that wasn't a very practical idea.

considering how practical singaporeans are.

i seriously employed the wrong strategy and started walking everywhere and begging people to donate.

realized in the end standing still at the booth is really much more useful

because they know you're really doing it for charity

and not some bogus fundraiser.

it was seriously dreadful to fundraise

albeit for a good cause.

but luckily made a couple of really good and nice girl guy friends.

^_^ made my sessions more enjoyable.

thankyou debby and sandy.

for donating!

debby i saw her somewhere suddenly.

and sandy came to see me! and donated ^^ thankyou love you gals.

in the beginning

i seriously had no clue to why.

some people donated to us.

i don't deny im a very practical person.

with 2 dollars i won't buy a balloon.

i can buy a cup of yummy tehbeng and cool myself off.

but these people.

for many reasons decided to donate to us.

and i really got me thinking.

about my own values in life.

some genuinely want to buy a balloon to make their kids happy.

even though they know the balloon might burst or shrink in a day.

but when i saw the smiles on their faces after receiving a flower balloon bracelet, a sword, a handpistol that i made.

i really can understand their parents now.

and i think partially, it was because it was for charity, so they were more willing to buy a balloon although it's not for utilitarian purposes.

some just dont want the balloon at all.

but donated to us anyhow.

despite not being very rich.

they donated to us.

after hearing that it's for charity.

they could have spent it on themselves, make themselves happier.

but they were willing to give it away.

to people who needed it more.

than they do.

and it really really.

touched me that there were still people like that who would stop in the middle of a busy lane to open their wallets to take out that purple note.

so everytime i receive a donation.

i really really.

thank them from the bottom of my heart.

but i was skilled enough to make elmos and princesses and mermaids that could fetch a 10bucks, 8bucks, or 6bucks easily lah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

but still so thankful for the people that love my elmo and princesses that they're willing to donate so much.

haha.

and although.

i end up reaching home late in the night.

plopping onto my bed

without any strength to breathe or have dinner.

i was very happy to be tired and to have raised some money to enrich some people's lives.

the money will actually be donated to poor single parent families.

to allow them to buy some stationery for the kids.

to help them to study better.

personally,

i love having colourful markers in my pencil case.

highlighting, making my notes colourful,

pens of different colours to draw some pictures at the side,

for easy reading and absorption.

but there are actually people

even struggling to own a single pen.

or even a pencil and eraser.

not to mention a notebook (i have tonns. coz i simply adore cute notebooks. what a girl ><)

(pallavi i used my birthday notebook gift from you to record my smu schedule! XDXD)

after knowing this cause.

i was so much more motivated to raise more funds for them.

so they can own more stationery and study better.

(eh studies have shown colourful notes help u mug better. dont play play)

and right.

i was so good at twisting balloons. (omgg im such a narcissist HAHAHAA)

they decided to deploy me to twist balloons for my duty at jurong point.

it's tiring yes.

but to attract more people to donate their MOOLLA~

and have fun at the same time.

WHY NOT YO.

im so glad.

that i joined this project

because i really gained more than just cip hours.

i gained more compassion, i gained a different worldview

(and gained some holiness. HAHAHAHAHA)

TODAY

i'll be at jurong point from 10pm today till 4pm tmr.

yes im staying overnight there.

to complete gigantic balloon sculptures

to raise more funds.

for our beneficiary's kids.

(if you guys are wondering why there aren't any pictures. im so sorry i can't reveal them until the final event. it's supposed to be a surprise. but worry not, i will post all of them up soon)

and tomorrow will be our final event @ jurong point

please come down to support me.

and my buddies and seniors from ballooning bliss.

if our cause calls out to ya!

*winkwink*

off to pack stuffs for my overnight stay~ yoohoo~~

2010-07-12T05:53:00.000-07:00

ahhh.
having bad bad bad migraine.
sucks to have migraine.

this throbbing pain in ur head.
makes it feel like ur brain's gonna explode anytime.

anyway.
blogging for future evaluation of CIP purposes.
at the same time giving you guys smth to read on my blog
LOL

actually.
i witnessed the good and evil.
when i signed up for my beneficiary visit today.
i didnt know where the fuck evergreen primary school was.
so i asked the senior helping me to sign up and she said she was gonna check for me.
then she still didnt gimme an answer.

and when i went home.
bloody hell i actually signed up for a sch at woodlands.
siao boh.

then last night this senior called rachel
she sms-ed me telling she would meet me at the mrt station.
then i was like okay seeya.

TODAY!
she's late by 10 mins and i was early by 15mins.
so i waited for her for a whopping 25 mins.

LOL but right.
she said there was a communication breakdown.
actually she didnt need to follow me there lah.
but she was being nice and said since she promised me she will bring me there.
then go back to school for a meeting.

how nice.

haha.
then she took me to take a bus to the primary school.
and then we even got off at the wrong stop
entered the wrong school
then realised when we were about to go in.
the board there says A-D-M-I-R-A-L-T-Y primary school.

HHAHAH
freaggin funny.
she kept apologizing.
luckily i was in a good mood and i was like no prob no prob.

then after that i went into the pri school.
the head guy there briefed me.
the head woman kept scrutinizing me from head to toe.
(super uncomfortable)

we were supposed to conduct programmes for children with those broken homes and conduct disorder lah. in one word problematic.

i had to help cut square papers out so that they could make a family tree windchime thing to bring home. lol while eunice (another volunteer there) cut the circle, i was thinking. my god this reminds me so much of biology.

i miss bio!

then the kids started streaming in.
then i was told to interact and join them for everything.
so i went to play "monkey" with the kids.

haha when u play with them.
they'll start to like you and pull ur hand and drag you all over the place.

we first started to have some kinda mini lesson thing.
like a mini team work game when everyone held strings then we had to support a cup in the middle.
but being problematic kids they can never hold the string still so the cup in the middle keeps dropping.

and the kids keep blaming other people when smth goes wrong lorh.
i mean obviously it's her fault lah.
but kids so young, they wont know how to be hypocritic and not blame people and still say good job right.

so she started to cry for awhile and feel bad.
but after awhile she got over it.
being kids like they were.

LOL

then after that.
we did the family tree windchime.
then when i was helping them tie their strings.
wah heart pain for them because.
there were missing links.

i helped one girl.
i was like "where's ur daddy's card"
girl says "i dont have a father" nonchalently.

ke lian de.
sometimes.
we're just living and being so comfortable in our own world.
we always see other people that always have it better than what we have.

we just fail to open our eyes to the other side of the world.
and treasure what we have.
taking everything for granted

i dont come from a wealthy family.
my dad earns little.
my mom has to earn more to keep our family alive.
and my dad's changing job coz he's a weenie and can't stand the stress.
and he will take it out on us.
and so there'll be a super drastic paycut.
of 1.4 k.

and im sulking and worrying about my future.
when these kids.
are so strong .
resilient

they understand their family conditions.
and they still work so hard in what they do.
and they're so happy, regardless of their situation.

there was this kid who went to pluck out her tooth.
and when she came back, she said it wasnt pain although it surely wouldve hurt.
super mature for her young age.

and there's this super creative girl in the class.
just strings and bells she could create necklaces and bracelets.
she doesnt conform to society's rules.
people told her to take 1 .
she takes 3.

and her parents see her as problematic.
disobedient what not.

but right....
seriously i can't say that there's nothing wrong with that behaviour.
but most of the amazing artists and designers are all a bit eccentric.
she will surely surely grow up to be a very talented girl.

saw so much today.
and im sure, as i step into my uni life.
i will see the darker side more and more.

2010-07-09T22:01:00.000-07:00

OKAAAAYYY!

finally i'm gonna blog about yesterday's fateful incident.
HAHAHAH.

it was literally the worst day i could ever have.
the bad things just came piling up on me.

i'll do it in chronological order and you'll know what i mean.

i went to school, anticipating all the new friends i would make at my CIP bonding activity day.

im pretty outgoing, so communicating with other people aint no problem for me.
so i went to gather at an area with a lot of freshies.

and i just turned around and started talking to the quiet freshies behind me.
got to know their names and shared a bit about ourselves and we were talking quite well.

then after that they were like.

1. ohhh we split you into your groups already. so please break from your original groups and go join your current groups.

(then i think. ok lah not so bad right? maybe my grp i can make other friends too~ or someone might be in the same grp as me)

2. turns out i was the only one who went to find my facilitator and the rest were missing. why? BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL ARMY GUYS AND STUCK TO THEIR BIG BIG ARMY GRP.

I WAS THE ONLY GIRL IN THAT GRP.

(then if other grps have this happening. maybe not that bad right? im prolly not the one alone. since they split the grp until it became like that)

3. other grps had an equal split of girls and guys. and one grp even had all girls. ALL THAT BULLSHIT ABOUT ENSURING A GOOD MIX OF PPL IN THE GRP.

the guys were totally talking their army cheemology. and were unintentionally excluding me out of the convo.
i couldn't do anything, if i wanted to join the convo, but i knew nth about what they're talking, it'll only make me look extremely stupid

4. then my girl facilitator comes. YAY!!! i thought. ends up she's so introverted and quiet and not proactive as a facilitator and i had to keep asking her questions, keep talking to her, ask her hobbies.

AND SHE JUST GIMME ONE LINERS AND GEUT one okay.
if she's interested then she'll answer with more emotions and with more facial expressions.

but that's that.

feels like im facilitating her instead?!

not fucked up enough?
5. i finally found out that 2 guys actually liked kpop dances and danced at o school. so i decided to strike a dance-ish convo.
here's how it turned out.

me: dance?
guy1: yeah
me: where do you learn dance at?
guy1: o school
guy2: dont look at me i dont learn dance
me: oh im from studio wu
guy1: wah rich ah.
me: haha no lah. what lessons you take
guy1: locking
me: oh..

-finish-
HE DOESNT EVEN BOTHER ASKING ME WHAT I LEARN OKAY.
FUCK.
CONVO MUST BE 2 WAY ONE WAD.

(maybe... activities will be fun i'll forget all about the bad stuffs)
(see i'm thinking so positively + thumbs up for me XD)
6. the facilitators made us walk on the outskirts of the school. through the whole city. bras basah, cathay you know lah. smu being in the city just makes it easier for an amazing race.

but that's not that bad. coz amazing race usually it's a one trail route right.
FUCK HOW COME?! i counted and we totally retraced the same routes to and fro like THRICE?!

i swear i walked 13 km for nth.
sibeh tiring you know!

(then maybe i thought, if facilitators entertain us then not so bad)
7. WTF THEY totally saw other facilitators and ditched us and played by themselves from time to time.

what kind of facilitator is this? totally irresponsible and not trained at all. i dont request for it to be professional, at least, they should know what they have to do. ESPECIALLY MY FACILITATORS, with my SPECIAL group mixture.

(then oh!~ another girl facilitator comes along?)
8. SHE ONLY TALKED TO THE ARMY GUYS. didnt come talk to me one single bit?

i'm not being zek ack, but i get the feeling from her actions like she thinks all the guys like her and such?

9. she took out a cigarette in the middle of our activities and started puffing on it. and she was like "eh dont tell anyone i smoke ah"

WTF?! smoke in front of everybody and tell us not to tell anyone!?
OXYMORON?
this is either just plain stupid, or she's trying to act like she's innocent.

10. when we returned back from everything. we were supposed to report back to the main people to sign up for our beneficiary visits.

ALL the people had their own grps and friends to go together with HORH.
I DIDNT.

BECAUSE ALL THE ARMY GUYS DITCHED ME AND WENT TOGETHER IN THEIR BIG GRP.
ditch me okay leh, coz i can ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKE SOME MORE FRIENDS ALONG THE WAY.

THEY DIDNT EVEN TELL ME TO GO SIGN UP?
they just ran by themselves?

11. my previous friends who ive been talking to at the beginning of the day.
they totally formed their own clique in their own grps and didnt bother to even invite me to join them. THEY TOTALLY KNOW I WAS LONELY IN MY GRP.

fuck lah.
just fuck it you know.
luckily when i went home inez was online i could rant to her.
or not i think i'll just explode tomato juice everywhere.

and i came to one conclusion.

people who aren't as outgoing as me, once they're in their own comfort zone.
they wont care about other people being uncomfortable even though they have helped you become more comfortable with the environment.

they just use you and ditch you.
that's why the world spins.

you know what.
im just gonna take it with a pinch of salt.
this is reality.

2010-07-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

dudududumm~
im a sucker coz the mirror makes my legs look longggg~

HAHHHHHH

okay that was random.
but anyway.

im thinking of uploading random clips of me.

doing stuffs.

and uploading it on youtube and putting it here~

^_^ wadya think.

to show my apologies to everybody.

who visited my blog.

but kept seeing the same post for the past few months.

IM SORRY

here are random pictures to start the post off~

(and a recipe for you~~~ to try at home)

CHICKEN SALAD!

yes yes i made this.

HAHA.

recipe is SOO CHICKEN.

literally.

INSTRUCTIONS

rip chicken breast meat into shreds.

add lettuce or any weird vegetables u can eat raw.

cut up the hard boil eggs

ANDDDD~ dugu dugu dugu~

the key to making the salad nice, is the dressing.

dont use thousand island coz it's just sour and sweet.

(my own recipe hehe)

50% goma sauce (japanese sesame sauce, the one u use to dip meat for shabu shabu)

50% mayonnaise

and a few drops of lemon juice.

mix it up.

and u get a FREAGGIN awesome salad dressing!

(if you guys comment on the tagboard on the right --->
i'll share more of my own recipes mwehehe)

and yes.

my culinary passion must not be underestimated.

here's the jjapchae i made for inez!! XDXD

boohoo sab and suting for missing it.

basically.
jjapchae is korean mixed noodles.

it has a really fresh flavour to it coz of all the vegetables.

and also sweetness coz there's meat (can't use beef in my house. religious reasons. so i used pork instead)

and the noodles are chewy and fragrant

(after mixing it with condiments)

ate it at singapore korean school with inez.

and seriously can't forget the taste.

so i researched and tried making it myself

again~~ (comment on the right ----> if you want the recipe for jjapchae ^^)

AHAHAHA. ok

i didnt bake this cake dont worry

but i decorated it!

at the icing room

it's this pastry shop where you can decorate ready made cakes.

located first at 313.

but then now there's another branch at t1 at tampines.

did this for my mommy's birthday. woohoo.

and she was realllly surprised ^^

thumbs up for personalized cakes~

TODAYYY~

k back to blogging~~~

chugga chugga cho chooo~~
woke up earlier than usual today.

which is 12 noon. (my usual's 1pm)

bathed ate and everything.

then i met reema at the mrt station.

how nice of her to follow me to my SMU CIP briefing.

and she passed me the DINO CUP FROM UNISTUDIO!!!~ yahooooo~~~ it's my souvenior from the 4 of them. XDXD

i wanted to sneak her in.

but stupid smu and their tight security.

like what for man seriously.

=.=and the person guarding the auditiorium hall was like.

oh it's packed so you can't bring ur friend in.

and when i went in it was only like 2/3 filled?WTF
and i can't like make her wait for 2 hours outside for me right so reema had to go home first.

saw my senior liying over at smu

haha she was promoting for some CIP event.

seriously.

are we fated or smth.

dunman high bball senior

vj senior

and now smu senior? LOL!

AND

AFTER THAT THE DAY SUCKED.

lemme put this in chronological order for you.

0. told my mommy not to prepare my dinner

1. promised robin to teach him rainism dance.

2. then grace sarah and reema kinda could meet up with me after that

3. cancelled dance session with robin (my girls more impt)

4. grace couldnt make it

5. sarah couldnt make it

6. reema accompanied me. but she gotta leave for her indian gathering.

7. NTH TO DO AND NO DINNER after THAT.

So LAST MINUTE.

i planned some activities for myself.

went down from smu.

to the central.

to visit the open kitchen concept rock candy shop.

called STICKY

knew about it from xiaxue's blog

(yepp yepp dont roll ur eyes. i love her writing style. great fan of hers)

wah and i couldnt find the shop at first.

coz it's just so confusing and hard to navigate at the basement.

like mole rat's underground tunnel (they're blind btw)

but then i saw like girls flooding a shop

bingo

knew it was that shop

HAHA.

there were like TONNS OF FLAVOURS OF ROCK CANDY.

mango pudding, watermelon, passionfruit, cherry cola, a lot a lot.

and right, the patterns in the rock candy ARE SO PRETTY.

like if it's passionfruit, the candy really looks like a disected passionfruit.

COOL RIGHT!

to find out more about how they make their candy

visit xiaxue's blog~

http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/

i didnt wanna buy too many and like risk buying lousy sweets.

so i just bought a packet of my fav flavour combi.

strawberry and cream pillows i popped one into my mouth.

and FWAH.

the strong sweet strawberry scent just overtook all my senses.

then as the outer covering melted.

the inner sour citrus strawberry flavour started to ooze out.

the process was just exhilarating.

and i couldnt stop popping them into my mouth.

TOTALLY YUMMYLICIOUS.

their sweets are made from the best quality SIS sugar

flavours imported from... US? Aussie? mm not sure.

they can even form alphabets in the sweet.

awesome much?

BUT ANYWAYS good

i will definitely go back there again to try other flavours.

then i went to kovan to buy a cup of cup walker

pudding milk tea~

then i took a direct bus home

(yeah i know loser right. go home so early.

BUT I HAVE GRAPHICS TO DO!!!!)

K CIAO!

anudder day.

i'll take more pictures and post more.
promise!

*wink wink*

2010-06-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

raises both hands above head.
YES IM WRONG IM SORRY!!!
for not blogging in such a long time.

the people reading my blog.
both silent and not silent.
must have been dead bored seeing the same entry everytime they wander here.
for no reason nor rhyme.

waharharhar.
i need some ling gan when i blog ma right.
need that spark to spur me to blog.

but recently my days have been either soo busy until i didnt feel like blogging, or so much the same that i totally don't see the need to update everyone what im doing. coz it's all the same

well with uni life starting.
i guess another chapter unfolds in my life.
as well as this blog.

it'll be up and running in no time lah.

hahahaha.
but with social networking sites like facebook and stuffs.
you never know man.
we're all so highly connected.
everyone knows what im doing with just a TWEET, or a status update.

i seriously dont have to update anymore here.

but i WILL
try to blog here as often as i can.
because i like old school blogging like this.
i can totally voice my opinions
in long sentences.
and post lotsa pictures in chronological order adding some story.
without having a word limit.

well
fuck the uni system.
LOL
everything's so confusing and everything is here there everywhere
i dont even know what's mandatory or not .
whether to sign up or not
who's going to uni with me

OR WHATEVER.
ya know what i mean.
totally like
urgh.

sch life's starting.
and.
im scared.
yes totally horrified
because the same kind of stress will just fall on ur shoulders.
multiplied by many times.
DANG.

i hope.
i really hope
i can find a bunch of really good friends
who'll stick with me through thin and thick.

who'll make me wanna go to school everyday despite
the horrible stress.
because.
friends are what makes school enjoyable.
even if we're suffering together
we bitch together

we have fun suffering.

not much of my youth left.
better enjoy the last glimpse of it.
before i become an old spinster
and die.
ah no

before i become a big big boss.
and rule the entire world. XDXD

i'll blog again soon i promise!

2010-06-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

seriously.
yesterday.
i suffered the worst insult.

here's how the conversation went.

i was discussing about karma and whatever with my other friend on fb
then that guy keep coming in to disturb.

guy: audrey just got owned by friend
me: eh you're annoying buzz of housefly
guy: buzz off ugly
me: please look into the mirror ure ugly too
guy: ure stupid too
me: please retard. stop staying in ur small little world thinking ure the greatest.
guy: there are a lot of people smarter than me and ure not one of them
me: if u think ure smarter than me be that way. dont wana hurt ur fragile ego
even if u are smarter, i dont care seriously
guy: im getting a kick out of this
me: (tells other friend) he's mad, he's getting a kick out of being insulted
guy: i swear i dont feel the least bit insulted
me: then he's mad insulting someone
guy: it's not an insult if it's true
me: prove it prove it
guy: i swear you wont want me to prove it explicitly

can you see how cocky this person is.
just because he's some top in some little poopy nanyang poly and he throws his weight around like that.

poly people seriously dont know what JC people are going through.
JC dudes will own you.
ur syllabus is easy shit.
dont need to study close one eye also can.
all projects anyway.
study simi lan?

seriously.
quoting eve.
this kind of people do well in sch. go to society GG.
and i couldnt agree more.

seriously it's a severe case of jing di zhi wa.

my friends should know me.
im not that kind of person who likes to pick fights with people
usually i'll just go okay u win and let.

but i just couldn't for this dude.
from a very very long time ago im like kinda displeased with his attitude already.
when he came and butt in, it exceeded my tolerance limit.

haha then inez was like: aiyo this kind of peng you. you dont jue jiao i smack you
me: yeahhh seriously i will.

but then right.
things arent' as easy as it seems lorh

in actual fact. he's my pri sch classmate.
we're very close with our form teacher.
and we're gonna meet her soon.
just can't tolerate him stepping on me.

he used to be a nice guy.
until he went to poly
seriously changed into another person.
started insulting people.
ego started to boost like a dead body bloats in the sea.
started to think he's good looking. have no idea WHY HOW ?~

freaggin ugly?
but i treated him as still a good friend.
we used to play bball together when we were younger.
so i just didnt wanna like shoot it into his face.

when he boasts i just let him be.

so now.
you see why i shot back.
since he doesn't treasure this friendship.
there's no reason why i should tolerate this.

all in all.
i think he's freaggin pathetic and desperate.
to prove his worth.
and to save his face?

that somebody . lost to me in everything during pri. sch.
his chinese sucked bad.
his sciences are soso
he claims his maths is good but it was never on par.
his english is average.

everything.
until he went to poly?
and started topping everything.
then he totally changed.

seriously man.
even poly changes someone this much.
i can't imagine the real world.

2010-04-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

Woke up freaggin early in the morninggggg
6.30am lehhh siao

met vui at mrt to go to nus for a test tgt
shes going for archi and im gng for id

niwae we arrived a bloody one plus hours
before the test started so we had to wait painfully

hahahahha
then we started with the test

topic was
opposition wth
and they had this ridiculous story
about how this boy is not allowed to touch the floor in some particular room cept during xmas
then another guy just walks in and like wet the floor and dirty it

and they were like
ohhh the floor is mysterious
The floor is opposition

blabla and a shitload od designer crap came out
and we are supposed to interpret it.
Draw a pic
build a paper model
and write fifty words

okayyyyy

so me being the gp kiasu species
will line out every impt point
and try to pick for loopholes in the essay

but apparently its simple idea made to be complicated

so i thought of a circle and square
opposing

but
everyone must think this way too

in the end
i built a model of an ant
small but strong
opposing lorh

lol
annd i dont know what got into me
but i decided to build a circular model
constructing the ants body segment by segment

so stupid of me
blocks can stack better and adhere better

in the end i spent so much time makking the body parts i hardly had time to stick the things stably
so
i just grabbed my scotch tape and taped everything
messily and uglily tgt

times up
i raised my head

wahniang
everybodys models looked damn clean and rectangular
im like
shit lah mine looks like its gonna fall apart with a blow
and freagin uglily scotchtaped

the guy beside me built a modern looking toilet bowl
few
ppl in front were all abstract rectangular blocks again
basically everyones stuff looked bloclish lor

got one girl even just made a cube and made it stand on the corner
win

so
maybe mines special
haha
i actually made an insect
and its circular and not blockish

perhaps it will stand out?

Hahaha anyway
after that went to republic poly for a dance rehearsal
for tmr's f&n flashmob
apparently the ppl there are all from hwachong
walao thanks lah

lol im like the only vj person there

i was feeling very scared by myself
coz xingyi ditched me halfway and went to join regina
tsk how can like that
she brought me into this.
Must pei me ma.

And being the sociable me
i started talking with them
and we were so kpop crazy
we started going high and siao and doing every dance we know

wahhh was seriously siao
considering i only slept for two hours
and didnt eat my dinner

hahaha they are a crazy and fun bunch of ppl to be with
totally is high until siao

i was expecting the dancers to be better than me
since they are hiphoppers from hwachong dance

but they didnt have any life in their moves
so dead
until i was looking like i zi high you know
its tt bad

tsk ignoring the fact im crazy usually
knew a lot of ppl frm it
saw a few familiar dongbang fans faces
hahaha even dance battled some

and im paid to do this
ohohoohohoohoh

2010-04-15T02:27:00.000-07:00

tagboard replies

ahlian: ahahah ippudo right. the soup's awesome!
ahahaha thankyou thankyou.
anyway we should do smth to recoup our losses
i'll sms you soon.

pallavi: YEAHH they're such assholes.
i learnt to swallow it all down.
but it's not healthy for my body.
so i ranted it out here. XDXDXD
anyway how's ur interview

inez: ARLOW inezlau!
yes i check my taggies often.
ar denkyu lurh ~
when im free i'll draw a cartoon inez. HAHA

POST

oohhh.
kk from the tagboard
i see people still read my blog.
so to thank you guys.
MORE PICTURES!!! XDXD

anyway here's the jaebum look a like that i mentioned.
HE REALLY LOOKS LIKE JAEBUMMMM.
my heart was like BABOOM BABOOM coz he's sitting right opposite me.
stupid smu student in green shirt blocked me from taking a proper pic.
i had to snap it in between his gaps
=..=

anddd i went to visit my grandma.
HAHAHHA.
she's the cutest thing man.
she saw the cheesy mcdonalds advert on tv.
and she suddenly said she wanted to eat the hamburger =..=
but she's still quite modern lah.
at least she eats the hamburger correctly.

not like my granddad.
HAHAHAHA.
CAN YOU SEE.
he's eating the hamburger bread and veggie and patty separate
WITH A CHOPSTICK.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

omgg i laughed like siaowwwww.

and me being an apple lover.
AHHAHA
and partially inspired by GD.
i took a weird selca.
i look like the witch offering snow white the poisonous apple or smth

ahh went to the dentist and amk
then the dentist was like
HENG ARRRRR.
my chip in my teeth is not too deep until it touched my nerve.
HAHAHAHA
nearly touched my nerve though =.= phew

if not he has to remove my nerves and it could cost 900 bucks ++
especially it's my molar O_O

so in the end i only paid 35 bucks for the jab and the filling.
phew...
bernice.
you totally saved my life.
and my money.

<3<3<3
if you become a dentist in the future.
i'll go frequent you.

haha
i took an anasthetic jab coz...
in case it reached my nerves. they would have to remove it.
BUT IM SAFEEE.

the dentist totally drilled away half of my tooth.
before adding the feeling.

wah my god the jab hurt like shit.
then my whole mouth was numb.

HENG ARRR.
kk im a bit disoriented now.
can see my writing flow totally.
HAHAAHA

then after that my mom was so happy
that she didnt need to pay so much to remove my nerve.
she took me out to eat good food.
at MOF.
HAHAHAHAHA im a sucker for green tea parfaits.
pretty right.
macha ice cream + hokkaido soft serve.

mm was working at mediacorp radio building.

then when i walked out.

i saw this huge HD def truck parked outside.

soooo amazing.

i dont know what it's for though.

it's damn huge.

ahaha it's a bit blur.

coz i took from far

and set the camera to LOMO O_O

a couple of customs i did/am doing.
firstly a shoe for myself
2NE1 & after school inspired.
i kinda changed the Queen's attire.
to the AS marching band uniform.

im going to do a KING on the other side.
because. i can draw better than CL.
HAHAHAHAHAAH
taken in lomo too

and a cap that i did for my brother.
(his friends are jealous btw. HAHAAH OF COURSE. where can you find
such an imba sister like me) *bu yao lian*

anybody who likes my designs can contact me
i'll do it for you at a low charge.
HAHAHAHAHA
even ppl say im undercharging. O_O.

another day at nickel apple tuition centre
i just find the glass banner thing really cool.
HAHAHAHA
and the logo's an apple ^_^

warzone no.2.
photoshop coloured.
enlarged
laser printed
laminated
cut.

ahahaha and i totally created a whole family of characters for the sch.
so that they can just take and use in the future.
trademark anyone? XDXD

^______________________^

that's all folks!
i'll be around snapping pictures before making another post

i'll be doing another mob soon
for F&N.
heh heh. check me out at orchard on sunday! XDXD

2010-04-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

aiyhoowww~

went out with my primary school mates.

innmay, dick, zoe, hx, ck, nic.

=.= if i continue going out with those boys, i think it'll degrade my status.

LOL.

fuck.

we were deciding where to eat.

and we finally ended up at this ramen place at mandarin gallery.

which i never really explored.

the queue was bloody long

apparently it's damn good.

and price is quite reasonable too .

a normal bowl about 15 bucks.

then nic started sharing his bastard stories..
and stuff

seriously man.

he likes yr.

just that yr's attached.

anyway, he'll just continue chickening out in his poly

and staying his loser no.1.

while waiting for my akamaru to come.

i raised my head and.

O_O

BEAUTIFUL CHANDELIER!!

im a sucker for panchakpanchak stuff so.

wahhh totally fell in love with it.

then the guys wanted to go pub.

but i dont really drink

so end up everyone returns to pasir ris.

damn early

HAHAHAHA

few days ago.

i was just doing custom free work

for a new chinese tuition centre my mom's friend just opened.

in the end.

pwahaha of course my art is cannot fight one.

so i got hired as their cartoonist.

doing food and cakes for a particular lesson.

my work station.

yes the cake is hand drawn.

not printed

*coughcough*

colour it in~~~

plus my fav lollipops.

snap shot of the reading corner there.

quite homly and cosy.

and the school principal actually.

could guess what i wanted to drink.

damn zai.
i hvnt open my mouth.

he was like... mmm since ure tired you should want tea.

but youngsters dont drink hot stuff now.

so iced milk tea for you?

im like.

O_O.

stares*

nod nod

(secretly in my head: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH)
like seriously felt like there was an explosion in my head.

haha went home

damn drained

and tired.

didnt know art could suck up so much life force.

AHH finally.

the dale i caught from the arcade.

cute right.

XDXD

and some candy along with it

and last but not least.

favourite snack of the day.

apple chips!!!~

(i dont fancy potato chips these days.

ive become really healthy)

oh dudes.

if you wanna get apple chips.

buy granny smith apples

(green ones)

coz the sourness adds to the whole taste

and it has that extra fresh sour tinge to it. very nice.

and you wont get sick of eating it.

bonus picture:

war zone.

i did more custom work today.

have to hand them in tomorrow.

really seriously

drained everything out of me.

drew over 20++ cartoons.

and photoshop and coloured each one.

damn tired.

i think my arm will break tomorrow.

lol

but

life as a cartoonist.

is quite.

fun.

XDXD

FUCK

2010-04-11T08:58:00.000-07:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
someone.
please.
do.
something.
about.
my.
dad.

im suffering immensely under him.

story goes like this.

my mom was trying to print something from the computer
but then somehow she couldnt.
and i didnt know what went wrong too.
despite using the printer many times.

mom: does this have a tray thing?
me: i dont think it has a tray.
mom: no have..

then im like okayyy.
in the end she just tried printing.
but still cannot.

in the end she was like.
eh call ur dad here

but i was fighting the zombies in my game.
so im like k after i finish the game.

then without me knowing she PULLED the entire tray out of the printer.
and then didnt know what to do about it.
so she went to find my dad.

and when i lifted my head up from my game.
she was gone
and she was with my dad.

my dad comes into my room.
and the drama starts.

dad was fuming and angry

dad: EVERYTIME SPOIL THINGS THEN COME LOOK FOR ME RIGHT.
ONLY KNOW HOW TO SPOIL THINGS
ALWAYS ACT LIKE SMART ALEC

(but truth is, i always think my dad's dumb shit. he's brainless.)

mom: tries to fiddle with the thing and see how it works.

dad: WHY DONT YOU HELP YOUR MOM.

me: im not sure how it works

dad: USE SO MANY TIMES STILL DONT KNOW. (blah blah and goes scolding me all about the technical terms of the printer)

me: it doesnt look broken. it just looks detached
which is true.
because the plastic hinges are still intact.
they look totally fine

dad: HAH. NOT BROKEN.
(he always repeats what i say to suan me. which i think is damn stupid and brainless, because he ran out of things to say)

mom SHOVES the thing back into the printer
prints.
done

(see my point now. he's the one that doesnt know anything about it. cannot even tell if it's spoiled or not. and he still think he damn correct wor)

FUCK lah.
i know its not totally my fault.
but i still went into the room and tried to aegyo a bit.
say sorry
and ask her dont angry lah.

but she FUCKING IGNORED ME.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.

HOW IS IT MY FAULT MAN.

im not happy about everything.
but i can't argue back.
got to swallow it down.
or not things could go worse

THE WHOLE reasoning why i did what i did.

1. i didnt help my mom further, because I DONT KNOW HOW TO REPAIR A PRINTER. I ONLY KNOW HOW TO USE IT. FUCK. just because i use it often means i know how to repair it? and my dad's scolding me about it? WHERE THE FUCK is his brain.

2. i was indeed fighting the zombies. and i kept my promise, after i fought the zombies i went to look for my dad. but my mom already tugged the whole tray out.

3. both of us are smart alecs? WTF? I DIDNT DO A SINGLE SHIT. AND HE'S SCOLDING ME.
and SCOLDING MY MOM AT THE SAME TIME?

4. i didnt do anything, because if i happen to do something, and i made it worse.
I'LL BE THE ONE AT FAULT
FUCK.

and NOW MY DAD's ANGRY AT ME.
MY MOM's ANGRY AT ME TOO.

FUCK LAH.
just let me go die can.
i didnt do anything.
also can get this kind of trouble

FUCK MAN.
what a cursed life i am living.
now im seeing how FATE decides to play with my life.

SERIOUSLY MAN.
what kind of FUCKING father is this.

only knows how to scold people
instead of looking for a solution.
whole day scold scold scold.

FUCK LAH.
use ur brains and think of a fucking solution instead of scolding your fucking partner and your fuckingly produced offspring.

can scolding change fucking anything?
NO.

fuck man.
such a fucking failed father.

2010-04-11T00:36:00.001-07:00

oh my goodness.
i haven't been posting for a long time.
shall take some time to blog now.

pictures are in my iphone...
i'll upload it next time.
HAHA

kk
went to marina bay to fly kite with s35 ppl.
seriously i dont understand why so many people go to marina bay?
there's like absolutely nothing over there.

HAHAHAHA.
went there then somehow somehow
coincidentally
saw jon and leanne.
then when they arrived at the place to fly the kite,

we saw another 2 couples.
cephas and his gf.
and another dude forgot his name.
heheheh

so it's a triple date?

anyway we set up the floor mat thing.
and started to fly the kite.

me and shirleen and joshua were like
more interested in the food than the kite so we kinda started off with the chicken first.
but somehow

we couldnt control ourselves so we were like.
omgg i wished we could eat the whole thing.

then we controlled outselves.
HAHAHAHA
packed it away
abstain.

then after wards we started off with shirleen's mermaid kite
walao that kite seriously doesnt fly
so jonathan and mayer went to buy another kite?

HAHAHAHA
in the end that mermaid kite flew really high.

but.
it's a disaster.
the mermaid was like going in circles in the air and entangling
its string
with every other kite over there

we somehow spent more time untangling the strings
than actually flying the kite.

such a surprise to see so many familiar people
actually flying kites.

O_O

i thought youngsters these days are supposed to hang out and rot in shopping malls.

heheheh.
but i had to leave early
=.=
stupid brothers at home.
if i dont look after them,

i think they will burn the whole house down like lee joon.

kk shall post with more videos and pictures next time.

thankyou~
whoever that is still reading this blog.
lol
the people these days seriously dont blog anymore.
facebook is like becoming their blog
or is it twitter.

but im more conventional
i like blogger.
it's more personalised dont you think.
^_^

2010-03-31T07:48:00.001-07:00

went to karaoke with yinhong and teng yesterday.

we were deciding on
kovan and bedok.
then finally bedok.

cash studio!
students have a 10% discount.
WHATS MORE.
we can sing until shuang if nobody books the room. (im a member)
SHIOK NOT.

we sang for 5 hours plus
and each person was like 12 bucks nia

a lot of korean songs.
DAMN A LOT
even have OH!

my god.
but no
2NE1
totally unjustified.

even had
supper
and desserts after that

aiyo smu interview tmr
damn scared.
GANBARE

2010-03-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

Wahaha
went to kovan today

was gonna help chaili for her celine jessandra choreo
for the cj perf crew

we were initially going to choreo to shinee's replay
buttttt
somehow chaili was a slut and couldt do hiphop

sooo
we changed the song to
sowoneul malhae bwa

hahahahahhaah
shocking ma

my first piece of slut dance
wohoooo

video will be updated onto fb
check it out sometime soon yehhh

ohoho
but didnt finish choreoing
too slow
chaili was having a hard time slutting up
coz she was complainjng she has no butt and boobs

Hohoho
~

2010-03-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

WAHOWWW!~
reason why i hvnt been posting for so long.
is because my life currently lacks stuffs to post about.
HEH HEH.

ok lah not lacking anything.
it's more like. im busy finding new obsessions.

ANYWAYYY
eye candy for regular readers of my bloggg
check out joon and his fierce stare + hot abs

i actually just watched idol army.
and seungho's tummy IS REALLY HAIRY.
happy trail XD
*flails*

I REALLY WANT THIS MAN!!!
HAHAAHA DAMN CUTE DAMN CUTE CUTE.
RILAKKUMA will u marry me!

andddd!!!~

desert for the day.

STRAWBERRY CREAM PUFF.

yumm yumm

2010-03-21T01:31:00.001-07:00

HAIYAHH
i lost my t3a and cca records!!!
SOMEONE SAVE ME

omgggg ottoke otoke.

kk yesterday was a really fun day.
met with deb kailing lou and ate steamboat at kailing's house.

then after that.
we had a highly musically engaging after meal activity!
O_O
watch kailing play her violin.

and we went home.

kk pardon my short and unruly kind of blog post.
i know i hvnt been blogging for a long time.

but.
i've got more impt things on hand such as.
FINDING MY DOCUMENTS.

CIAO.
after i find them i'll post more

2010-03-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

new releaseee!
EMAX singing a cover of After School's "Because of You"

Basically eve mel and xingyi are singing.
I did all the rapping.

Have a listen and comment right over there~~
*motions to top right hand corner of blog"

My mic just spoilt today.
while i was gonna adlib a song.
SHUCKS.
some time to break down.
after IT fair then break down.

zhao si...

2010-03-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

Wohhoo.
hvnt been blogging in awhile.
have to start blogging already.

went to orchard on saturday 4pm to watch a dance battle right in the middle of orchard road!!
korea's waackin jina and a few prestigious krumpers e.g. youngster and bucky
jina and bryan leading the studio wu waackers
youngster and bucky leading music garage krumpers (they suck at krumping seriously)

wahh but bucky is one fiesty krumper.
such a small sized girl
so much charisma

met up with ju unni and chieling.
first person i saw was bryan.
then he was looking at me with that kind of sultry expression.
and im just =D
literally
=D

then he just. AHHH~~ jk nia lahh hahahah. and he asked me what ive' been up to.
since so long never go his lessons liao!

im like "i went popping!"
bryan" O_O GOOD GOOD!"

hahaha.
better not learn from bryan.
not my style.
i dont wanna risk getting waacked in my face by his shoe.

the lolita waackers preparing for the battle.

but seriously
other than that one girl in white shirt
the rest of the singaporean krumpers suckkk like shit man.
no power.
this is the first time i see such soft and powerless krump
no angst, just stupid facial expressions and fake gestures to show cockiness.

TOTALLY NO BASICS.
chest pop look like boob waggle can.
my god... haishxx..
if studio wu taught krump i would so learn.

me taking a pic of myself in studio wu simei.
hahaha whole studio to myself

my brother's birthday cake.
that i made.
hehehe oreo cheesecake.
NICEEE?
ignore the wet whipcream at the side.
my mom put it there and spoiled it =.=

then sunday went to the IT fair with my dad and bros.
was genuinely scouting for headphones
when i saw. O_O
EXACTLY THE ONE I WANTED!!!!
ZUMREED.
THE ONE DARA WORE IN HER CASS BEER CF!

then i looked at the price 89 bucks.
erps
swallows
and walks away.

then.
not giving up.
i walked back
and saw 20% discount
STRIKE OFF
30%!

THEN IM LIKE
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
ZUMREED GOT DISCOUNT?!
BUYYY

in the end got it at 62 bucks.
omggg it's a steal can.
WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and it was the last set of blue ones already.
<3<3<3<3<3<3

2010-03-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

urgh.
my future it's feeling quite bleak right now.

ppl with better results shouldnt be sulking in front of me.
in particular you.
shouldnt be complaining that you can't get into ntu business.
when u can.
and u have better grades than me.

sucky set of results came back.
my chem ...
shit must have been pulled down by that stupid formula mistake i made.
cost me an A
cost me a place in NUS business school.

life kinda sucks sometimes right.
when you work so hard for something.
and people say they work hard.
but they get the best.
and you get nothing.

and what's more
i prayed and prayed continuously.
my birthday wish was even dedicated to this.

sigh.
well most of the ppl i know got better grades than me.
i have 2 As.
but 1 A is in GP which is a H1.
which doesnt guarantee me a place in nus business.

im having a splitting headache right now.
migraine even.

it's very disheartening.
it's very... discouraging.
to have this kind of results.
which seriously suck.

although it's much better than my prelims.
full of Es and Ds and Ss...
tsk.
still.

life really really sucks.
to not be a high flyer.
maybe the gods hate me or something.

ah what to do.

i can't do anything to change that.

that day when i walked past a hdb building.
a drop of smelly aircon water dripped on my eye.
the day before results day.
i knew...
smth bad was gonna happen.

i hvnt had anything drip on me before.
nor bird shit of any sort.

hai...
and there's no other teacher that i could talk to that could give me some hope.
some comfort

only bloody irritating relatives
who only care about how many As i have.

very not understanding parents.
who keep asking how much my close friends got.
and comparing me with them.
and showing how disappointed they are when they hear how good my friends are.

if ure not happy with me.
then go adopt some other high flyer kid okay.

IM DUMB.
then again.
all those of you who've had tuition.
while i didnt take any at all.

try finding a uni tuition.

*sorry ppl who had the money to find tuition. i know you guys worked hard with it. im just being sour. allow me.*

tsk.
ungrateful parents.
dont know how much i saved them without any tuition at all.
fully self study.

even my failed maths.
i practised myself.
with nobody at all to guide me.
no siblings to teach me.
father who only acts like he knows everything but in fact knows nothing.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
watch out you high flyers.
im gonna make sure you eat dirt in uni.

2010-02-20T21:07:00.000-08:00

ALRIGHTTT!
finally watched percy jackson and the lightning thief.
like finally.
sheesh.

okayyy other than the characters.
some parts of the plot.
and the CG.
everything else sucked.

let's start from the good parts yeah?

the percy actor... he's a HAM. (quoted from shirleen)
annabeth's really pretty too.
and the satyr's acting is pretty hilarious.

the CG's awesome.
the water effects.
the hydra.
the flying shoes.
the shield
the pen.
the... iphone to see medusa (it got me crackin up for awhile)

kk here comes the bad parts.
firstly.

1. the dyslexia thing totally ruined percy's holiness. LOL it's so far fetched =..= like seriously
the greek alphabets rearrange into ENGLISH and he can read it while he can't read proper english!?~

2. the random woman just appeared in medusa's lair and started grabbing annabeth and ran around? where's she from? she knew the stare killed her husband. but she still opened her eyes and courted death!? pfft.

3. lotus eaters part was totally redundant...
what. the lotus part was just to make the whole thing more oriental?
casino... waste 5 days.

seriously.
they should have just cut the time period to give zeus his bolt short.

4. ahhh and the almighty medusa gets so fascinated with an ipod touch, she gets beheaded immediately.

5. seriously. if perseus existed. as shown in the museum. then. what's percy? perseus is a son of zeus. so if percy is the son of poseidon, what's he doing killing medusa and getting the flying shoes. i thought perseus killed medusa already?

what did they do to the greek mythology mannn.

6. and... you know he's the son of poseidon. when they have those big fights. waves clashing.
but luke ends up unscathed and just choking on water?! it's so. >< you get what i mean.

7. LASTLY. what the fuck is he doing climbing up the stairs of mount. O when he has those flying shoes on after fighting with luke.
=..=

maybe ppl argue that, ohh he just wants to run with annabeth.
but this is a TIME based mission.
no time to care about your sweetheart darling.
moreover she's not in grave danger.

and...
why are greek gods.
so childish.
and immature.
can't he know where the weapon went?
can't he have kept the weapon safely

okok sorry i have 2 more... problems with the movie.

8. the cause... why luke stole the lightning bolt.
it's so weak.
LOL
ohhh gods rule so long. it's time for us to take over.
yada yada.
i bet ure gonna age and become a old man and zeus is still alive.
RIGHT?

9. they didnt even explain how the lightning bolt got stolen?!~
like wth some almighty zeus weapon gets stolen by a mere demigod in the name of hermes's son? doesnt he keep his weapon safe or smth since it's so serious until it could start a war.

and zeus is so stupid
anyhow accuse poseidon~?
does he have any idea how many other people are vying for his place.
like poseidon is the only other dude in the whole world.

just.
the story doesnt flow too well lorh.
ok the story doesnt flow well at all
although im an avid greek myth fan.

this just doesnt leave me impressed lorh.
but it's an alright movie lah.

just...
harry potter worked out better.
lol

2010-02-19T23:39:00.000-08:00

feel bad for not blogging properly.
hahaha.
just knew from yinhong she actually reads quite regularly...
shall make ppl's reading experience more enjoyable
than plain ranting.

aint this baby cute. she's tiana and she's a half french half chinese.
hahahaha.
she's my mom's friend's daughter.
she'll grow up to be a beauty~~

ahaha my bdae present form dad + bros
cool right.
can dock all my things.
charges super fast too!

nice lunch at aunt annie's place. yes tiana's mommy~
she lives in newton!!! O_O

painted a wall mural on my wall a couple of days ago.
just before chinese new year.
is it nice?

ahh here's comes my fav part
arranging of sweets.
all my favourites.

all time popular chocolates in the middle
long time never eat jelly.
cheappo mint plus..
my FAVVVVV rabbit milk candy.
the cubic bourbon rock candy from japan.
and chocomint with minty candy and fluid choco inside.

yumyum.
of course there's more lah.
but i didnt bother taking all the cuttlefish bakwa etc.

mehhh~
my comp crashed.
so i had to reinstall everything.

and.
I LOST ALL MY SMILEY SEUNGHO PICSSSS
T_T
and alllllll my JOON ABS FLASHING MOMENTS.
i got ALLLLL his abs flashing shots ok~.

aiyooo...
heart pain.

2010-02-17T23:37:00.000-08:00

ah yes..
i've been a lazy bum.
i hvnt been exercising

> <
not even locking or popping.
or even simple grooving.

ive been eating non-stop
ba kwa.
pineapple tarts.
i took pictures of my beautifully arranged sweets actually.
but im a bit lazy to upload.

maybe when i find the drive to blog properly again.
hahaha my life's in a mess currently.
i know...
i like this mess.
but .

my weight's been increasing.
well

before my boss pays me.
i can't go back to dance.

T_T

boss..
pay me.

2010-02-15T04:42:00.000-08:00

HELLO!
happy CNY day 2.

i went to maternal grandma house
took angpows
ate.

visited
played iphone GTA
continued playing.
playing

LOW BATT.
after the iphone goes dead.
i feel like.
time passes so slowly.

HAHAHAH
i swear.
GTA is such an awesome game

please play grand theft auto.

tmr...
let's see.

aunt annie.
her french hubby.
baby tiana
monster milena are coming~

plus wu auntie.
and her sons.
and hubby

and ah lian auntie.
ahahaha

yayyy
im like sisters with them already.
tgt with my mom.
LOL
bitches...

omgg.
is my life becoming more bitchy or smth.
shitz...

hahahah
oh well
i dont mind.

2010-02-12T22:35:00.001-08:00

Today's CNY eve!
Wishing everybody a happy happy chinese new year.

well.
today's a special day.
coz i only get to see my cousins once or twice a year.

paternal side.
i have 2 aunties and an uncle.
my dad's the youngest kid.
2 aunties have a broken family.
uncle gets controlled by wife.

uncle goes to wife's house for their reunion.
2 broken families.
so no one tends to my grandma

except us

and now they're helpless.
nowhere to go to eat.
so they decided to come to my house.

not that i dont like it or what.
it tires my mommy out.
lol at least.. you know... when
ppl come over to eat, they should contribute in some way.
either help wash dishes or contribute some... financially.

LOL
anyways.
my mom's a nice person.
so she contributes a lot to this family
and i really admire her for doing so.

of course.
me being a nice person.
i'll help out too.

my grandma came over.
and over lunch.
before reunion dinner.
she was comparing me to my elder cousin.
who's also a girl.

(translated from chinese, my translation skills are awesome lol)

grandma: aiyoo you ought to slim down
me: ahhah im trying
grandma: ( ahh... comparison topic again. hated) look at your elder cousin, last time also plump plump, now so prettyyy)
me: *fumes* ahahah im trying im trying

grandma: (continues to poke me)she now sooo pretty. got boyfriend, keep changing boyfriend everytime.

me: (finally can't hold in my anger)
1. she keeps changing bfs like she changes her underwear, she doesnt treasure them, she plays with men, she's a cassanova.

2. her brain consists of 50% of ai mei (like to be pretty ) and 50% ai qing (romance), other than those, inside got nothing else.

*wahah indirectly hinting she's dumb. not to suan those ITE people lah, her results really suck so she had to go there*

3. she wastes the society's resources, other than contributing to the economy by buying so much make up, she totally contributes zero.

that is of course if she's being pretty and horny and would like to contribute to the singapore's birth rate.
the government would be very pleased with her.

sad to say.
she can do nothing else so she slims down and puts on slabs of make up to hide her ugliness.

SHE IS STILL UGLY.
she looks pretty.
only.
looks.
next step, she might go for plastic surgery.

i.
on the otherhand
have much better stuffs to do with my knowledge and brain and whatever.
not that im a genius.
but my brain is used for better stuffs.

period.

--------------------

and yes.
i blurted all these out to my grandma.
and did i say i love my mom so much.
she helped me poke my cousin a few stabs too.

HAAHHAHAHAHA.
bitches.

if she continues poking me when my cousin is around.
i will attack my cousin relentlessly and make her face eat shit.

geddit.
you make me fume
you unhappy with me.
suffer the consequences.
muahahaha

on a lighter note.
i've received so many wonderful gifts for my birthday
neomu mani kamsa hae yo~

many layered rocker bracelet
self sustainable cactus in a little vial
a whole tray of strawberry chocolate mochi
a studio wu one day complementary pass. (HAHA you joker)
all from leanne and grace

4 really pretty ear studs from shir
a long leaf necklace from yinhong

HAHA thank you guys so much.
and thank you to those in advance who said they were gonna give it to me int he future.
god knows when.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

okok i know.
im like that my self.

THANK YOU ALL!
it's been a wonderful year.
apuro, it'll be a better year ahead.

HAPPY CNY !!! bitches!
HAHHAHAHAHAHA.

(caution, don't anger audrey)

2010-02-03T11:10:00.000-08:00

Wooo...
Today's poppin lesson was shiok.
Heng marcus never bully
got a lot of weird footwork though.

Then afterwards was locking (im so old school)
then michael started takin his music player out of a rilakkuma pouch.
I was totally dio stun can
omgg
that lao ah pek likes it too!!!?!

Then the whole class keep laughing at him for being girly
we were like arguing whether rilakkuma was a guy or a girl
for a whoppinh 15 mins before finally starting lesson

hahahaha
i like today's lockin footwork
exactly what i wanted to learn

bad thing abt locking is that.
All the steps revolve ard the basic moves

so lockin choreo vehhhh hard to memorise
all the moves feel so similar and are yet somewhat different

shld be twirl lock point point
my body keeps automatically doing
twirl cross up lock

this problem has been like haunting me forever

everytime i ask other instructors the vry same qn
they say
ohh just keep practising
oh thats myscle memory, just practise

i was sooo confused and i didt know what to do
i wanted to stop my muscle memory frm working tt way
bt i didn. Know if it was correct

anf finally
michael enlightened me

he said "break it up break it up"

2010-01-28T09:38:00.000-08:00

Aiyoooooooo
today after work
immediately chiong to studio wu for rehearsal

ehehhe
i guess my inability to so smexy moves
cant escape choon hui's hawk eyes

what to do
i dont have an inner slut what
cant touch my own body
cant shake my butt like how a normal girl does

wah
use sooooooooo much energy
until my limbs so floppy
i felt like iwas gng to die

so ironic rgt
the song im dancing to is staying alive

hahahahaha

aiyooo
my
limbs are giving up on me

savvvvveeeeeeeee meeeeeee

T.T

2010-01-27T22:48:00.000-08:00

Hahah... Finally figured out how to post on blogger with my iphone... Currently doing my business in the toilet so got nth to do.

Anyway... I bought another set of plug in ear phones coz i returned the green one to my bro

stilllllllll contemplating on wheher to buy the headphones hahaha

finished dance rehearsal ytd
vryyyy cute choreography
dancing to single ladies & chipmunk ver of staying alive
still must dance with ohbiang red shiny cloth!!

Oh my.
Anyway this rehearsal is for a flashmob.
Hahahah
those closer friends who wanna know where and when it's happening
come and ask me
and watch me dance
my most dreaded girls hiphop wHahaha

before rehearsal went to marina sq to walk walk abit with leanne
saw this ggggggigantic rilakkuma leh
i shook hands with it
its about my body size leh
damn big can
i promised it tt after i become a ceo of my own company i'll come and get it.

Mwehwhww
i finished making shirleen's present
hvnt completed grace's though

2010-01-24T01:05:00.000-08:00

mwahahah.
kk i should blog more regularly.
it's just that my life has been so monotonous and so colourless these days.
there's nothing really interesting to talk about.
unless well i inherit a new craze.

currently it's still my blaqqies.
but...
shinee has caught my attention again.

they've got this new show called hello baby.
snsd did the season 1. theirs is season 2.
it's a whole series where they become a little kid's dads and they take care of him.
quite interesting.
i watched the 1st ep yesterday.
ahahah.
onew and key as usual damn funny.

all of them didnt really change at all.
well if their music style changes back.
i might start liking them again.

well.
today...
let's see.
i woke up at 11.30 am.
it's a usual wake up time for me.
it's good coz i dont have to take breakfast.

went to whitesands with my mom for brunch.
ugh.
did i mention it's a really bad thing when u can taste caffeine.
i literally tasted the bitterness in the teh peng today.
omgg.
bad quality tea leaves.
it's horrible.
but my mom can't taste caffeine.
so she drank it for me.

LOL.

then...
bought some food and went home.

then immediately chiong out to the market with my dad again.
to buy some paint for the house.
the house is gonna be yellow and light orange colour!!~
woohoo.

and my room's gonna be blue/teal
yayyy.
wahahah.
and i can paint rilakkuma on my wall
im ... kinda glad im a little artistically inclined.

then come back home.
my mom and dad are going to a charity show later.
the mediacorp one.
so i'll stay at home.
and record myself sing.
AHAHAHAHAH.

stay tuned.
for audrey covering 4men's -baby baby.
it's a damn hard song to sing.
dont know whether i'll carry it off well.
but oh wells
i'll try.

hvnt prepared grace's bdae present.
and i still owe shirleen hers.
ahahaah~

2010-01-19T08:06:00.000-08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
i officially started work.
i gotta make phone calls.
so i took out my earstud on my left ear.

it's a triangle shaped bling.
THEN.
I FORGOT TO TAKE BACK WHEN I LEAVE!?!!!!!!
OMGGGGGGGGG
*slaps self*
my bao bei blinggg T_T

bling ahhhh.
im having withdrawal symptoms already
i dont feel safe without u on my left ear lobe.

now my right ear lobe only left star and thunder. T_T

2010-01-17T01:33:00.000-08:00

PWAHAHAH.
finally back to updating this.
i actually tried to update using the iphone.
but =..= somehow just couldnt start typing into this pathetic box.

korea trip...
some other time then i blog about it.
when im in the mood.

recently been looking around for headphones.
searched the net a bit.
and ...
waw....
awesome designs... although i think i would have designed a few better.
coughs.

anyway... on to some intros.
to headphones.
im not covering dr. dre headphones (the one g-dragon ordered)
coz... they're too expensive. 300 bucks !~?
wtf. might as well buy an ipod like that. oh well those who can afford it prolly already have ipod. so yeah.

first up will be.
these earphones by urbanears.
in navy colour.
what i like about it is that it looks really stylish.
and the headphones have cushion on it.
the metal parts are also covered in blue.
the little details i fuss about usually.XD

skullcandy headphones.
very thick connector there.
i like...
so that it doesnt break easily.
but what i hiam about is that it's too bimbo looking.
like damn pinkish.
but i wouldnt mind getting these lah. it's cute. lol

skullcandy too.
in black and gold.
this one is surprisingly cheaper than all the skullcandies out there.
it's about 40 USD.
i like how the cushy part of the earphones are in gold.
damnnnn royal. HAHA

grande earphones by boosted.
i know it looks damn childish
and the colours scream im made of plastic.
but i find it really funky.
like it a lot.

last but not least.
the all famous mix-style earphones from japan
these are actually the ones that i want the most and are most easily available.

what caught my eyes are...
these yellow and black ones.

then again if we go for the less funky feel.
i really like the white ones too~

pretty cool in-ears too.
the blue and yellow ones are damn fonkayyyy~

lol.
but sadly i dont find them anywhere in singapore.
even in CD shops there are only white black ones... which i dont really complain about lah.
since they look nice and classy too.

but they just need more variety.

just so happened that i walked at downtown east one day.

then i saw mix-style earphones in the cabinets selling at only 32.90SGD!!!~
it's at ehub, in right beside the ticketing booth for cathay.

but it's only available in the colours below.

if im not wrong... it's pink with white star and black with pink star.

not pink with black star.

if i could get my hands on those....

hwahwahwa.

still thinking and looking though.

hmv has pretty cool looking ones too.

ARHGHHH...

can't decide.

then again yutaki says that the skullcandy earphones break easily~~

2010-01-09T00:12:00.000-08:00

aigoo yah
我的宝贝们。你们好吗？

hvnt been blogging for such a long time
i also dont know what ive been doing.
my life's like in a mess right now.
still in the midst of finding some order.

major point in the messiness of my life is my parents.
=.=
controlling everything i do
forcing me to do things that i dont like to.
and it's not even for my own good.
i really dont wanna discuss this anymore.
been so mad and angry.
i kinda gave up.
more like.
gave in.

seriously.
they have to learn that im 19
and stop controlling my sleeping time.
i dont sleep early because im not tired.
i dont wake up early because the day hasnt even started yet and i can't do anything.
tv don't even have shows!

urgh.
they have to think.

and im so bloody pissed.
everyday,
they're asking whether i have orders.
if no orders they tell me im useless.

wth.
they think internet business so easy.
they go and do it luh.

leanne's mom understands because she has done it before.

it just pisses me off that they ask everyday.
everyday.
and i tell them it's not so easy.
not everyday the orders come.
but they keep asking and asking.
and NOT UNDERSTAND when i explain.

then what's the use of explaining.

anyway.
other than those stuffs that are bothering me right now.
im so glad im back dancing.
a bit stiff though.
couldnt catch choonhui's footsteps.
after she came back from osaka she abit random. her choreo.

my dancing shoes even feel happy.
i should give them each a name.

and...
weehee
emax's dont know how many single. is OUT!
cover of f(x)'s chocolate love~

hear hear !!

seeya soon!
oh no. i just realise i hvnt blogged about korea..
mmm... maybe when im free okay. XDXD
ive been uploading random korea vids on facebook also.
can go see see.

muacks bitches and fuckers.
HAHA~

2009-12-28T05:41:00.007-08:00

i've sunk into quite serious depression these 2 days.
hopefully i recover tmr.
close friends should know why.

i want to wear my dancing shoes.
once more.
dance is who i am.
i stepped into the world of music with dance.

but now.
because of parents.
money.
everything.
i may have to give it up temporarily.

business hasn't been good.
we've lost our bunch of customers from the previous blog
due to an overly long hiatus.
it's bad.
i've advert-ed internationally.
and only a customer from germany expressed interest but has not replied ever since.

i was in a mad state just now.

i left my number at a tuition centre just to get money.

i actually wanted to go help at the chinese tuition centre for money
and suffer humiliation by my mom.
she's a popular teacher there, and when i expressed a bit of interest,
she's all like saying how bad i am.
how lousy.

i'm despo to teach pri. sch kids for money.

i wanted to go work at those sushi tei... starbucks places for money.

i could do anything for money.

took me awhile before i woke up.
doing things like these.
which i dont like.
just because my business aint doing well.

i need.
to slap myself.
and wake up.
and work hard on this.

going out to work...
that option.
i'll do it if.. business really can't sustain me.

but i feel dont know how many tonns of pressure weighing down on me.
coz everyone's getting a job.
and i aint.
which means.
i aint earning as much money.
despite doing smth special and different.

parents aren't supportive one bit.
i feel like dying
suffocating.

now.
i'd rather.
really.
be studying for a lvls.
and dreaming of what life would be after a lvls.
than.
experiencing this horrible cruelty of life.

wake up.
ure not born into a rich family.
ur parents wont pay anything for you.
wait for ur next life.

2009-12-13T02:16:00.000-08:00

HELLOO!!~

YUREUBEUNNN!!~
I'm at the PC bang in my Ski Resort now...
Arrived at the place damn early

Ate bibimbap as breakfast at 2am in the morning.
siao-ness
but the bibimbap was very very nice.

met this co-tour guide.
but he cannot speak enough english and chinese.
he's this tall lanky guy lah.
but i made effort to talk to him in korean.
HAHAHA he was impressed.

then after that arrived.
went to NAMINARA~!??!
dont know
see the site where they shot WINTER SONATA.
O_O
a bit the.
not as pretty as the drama seems.
just cold.
and dying trees.

Then we left that island. went back to land
ate lunch.
O_O
cabbage chicken whatever thing

and then went to myeongdong to eat
BASKIN ROBBINS!
which is literally eat ice cream in the zero degree celcius weather.
amazing that it doesnt melt.
HAHA

every part of the street.
playing
2NE1
taeyang
afterschool

then finally i entered a shoe shop.
then .
RING DING DONG.
omggg...
i almost become siao already.

left for hotel...
check in...
watched
INKIGAYO!!~
I MISSED MBLAQ's perf.
omgg *stabs self*
only caught the last few secs of it.

and saw a bit of IRIS on the tv.
the part where TOP pretended to kiss the gf but in actual fact twisted her neck to kill her.
O_O
evil TOP.

then i went to the supermart to see if there are umshiks to buy...
i saw this taeyang drink.
i immediately.
BUYYYY.

kk i know my account very the not exciting right now. i need some time to re-organize my thoughts before i repost them with pictures back in singapore alright?

don't miss me guys!
and leanne sorry for throwing all the work to you!
XDXDXD

2009-12-09T08:18:00.000-08:00

woohoo tonns of pictures for ur eye candy today.

some prolly saw it on facebook already but it's ok

did i ever mention that i looooove drinks.

lol~

esp when im studying.

i need a drink beside me.

it's my energy booster

the very nice strawberry soda at downtown east's teasire.

this was when i was studying for prelims. O_O the horrors.

My MOCHA!!~ When studying with Zoe for a lvls at the airport at coffee club. We saw our GP relief teacher Mr Teo there. AHAH~

THE SINGAPORE SLING! look at the colour! damn swee! tasted like a blend of grapefruit and orange juice. it's really good.

G. O. O. D. food~

sake and maguro sashimi.

and those fresh and succulently sweet prawns.

oh you guys gotta try this gummy

it's the BEST!! ~

it really has that real lemon juice inside.

and when u chew on it the gummy breaks into pieces like the real lemon pulp.

playing with the reflection on the kettle out of boredom. at giant.

look at my mouth~ hahaha!

boongboongie. for boonboon.

up and coming blogshop.

new items.

new look

new concept.

please dont eat them.XDXD

amazing thing that i saw at tampines 1

UPSIDE DOWN XMAS TREE!

sandara inspired.

my eyebrows were really sad.

but my fringe covered it.

hahaha kk enough of pictures.

went back to range today.

saw the jnrs...

chatted with clara before the jnrs returned from their cycle.

so much happened!

serious problems man.

communication.

bonding

morale.

tsk tsk

seems like seniors have to help already.

dont know how many ppl went for PT. already very little.

then end up only me qi jing and eileen went for lunch tgt.

talked a lot.

and they filled me in quite a lot too
and glad they did

coz i see more sides of the story.

then i went TO BUY.

BAO BEII!~

MY NEW ERAAA CAPPPP!~

MUACKS MUACKS MUACKS.

this is a reward for myself for mugging through the a lvls so faithfully like ive never mugged before.

it's real value was $79.00

but i bought it at a speciallll place.

lol so it was cheaper. HAHAHAH!

YESSSS~

BAO BEIIII

MUACK MUACK MUACK

2009-12-01T03:20:00.000-08:00

MMMM...

packing up for korea...

luggage is too small!

so glad so glad that joon's finally feeling okay.

can see the glow in his face already.

but his leg is still not okay.

leader as usual.

awesome flip.

no mistakes.

SO SAD that

art of seduction is ending in 4 eps.

but writers promised to increase 1 more ep because

the show was just so popular

HAHAHAAH

and luckily after the eps end.

they're gonna host idol army.

which will span quite a number of episodes.

WHICH MAKES ME

one happy fan.

im like totally imagining if i see seungho on the streets what will i do.

1. snap a picture secretly

2. go up to him for a "sign"

3. go up to him and get a pic with him.

4. go up to him and go "OPPA! singapore esso wasumnida! choneun FANNN ieyo ~"

O_O of course that's just fat hope lah.

well purely for imagination purposes.

mmm been practising some mcq.

but... seems like still got so many wrongs...

O_O.

and ive depleted my supply of mcq papers

ottokajiii

just received a very good quality of park bom's you and i's instrumental

thankyou lurh xingyi!!~

and the most exciting thing is.

me and leanne's new blogshop's opening starts a new beginning.

the birth of "CREAOTIC"

the chaotic process of creation.

SOOO happy.

and since im soo happy.

those reading this blog should ask for a discount when you buy xmas prezzies from our shop

^_^

100% guaranteed

-pretty

-attention catching

-yummylicious

1 more day to the official end of A lvls.

i wanna catch NINJA ASSASIN REAL SOON.

coz i WANNA SEE THAT KISSING SCENE THAT JOON HAS.

kks.

CANT

WAIT.

2009-11-29T22:06:00.000-08:00

AIHOOO~~~~
whats up everyone.

CAN'T WAIT FOR A LVLS TO BE OFFICIALLY OVER.
stupid MCQ why must it be so far away.
now i seriously almost forgot everything i mugged already.

AIGOO JJINJJA.
everyone's getting H1N1

our joonie.
our doongie.
GET WELL SOON!

mm and amber. because your charm is so short lived.
and SM is promoting you guys so badly.
my interest for you guys has died down.
O_O

maybe i should change my banner to a joon banner.
or a seungho banner.
mmm... prolly a seungho banner.
he looks god damn handsome playing the piano.

woots!
abm quickly sub ep 4

im watching you're beautiful now.
lol
and guess who my fav ideal type of guy among those 3 are.

NOPE not taekyung.
im scared of fierce people.
becoz my dad is damn fierce.

NOPE NOT our prince charming shinwoo.
i might drink tea until i get caffeine poisoning.
and i dont like emo guys.

YES YES YES.
ITS JEREMYYY.
ok don't be shocked.
because.
i HEART DORKS.
and i will drink juice everyday.

off to KOREA in 2 weeks.
mmm should i start learning some vocab.
O_O and basic grammar.
and hopefully i will be able to see our wonderful mblaq with my own eyes.

^____^
CHO AH.
heard it'll be cold in korea.
mmm... gotta go fareast to get some scarves.
i saw a few really chio ones.

AND NOOO...
leanne.
ppl in korea wont mistake me for a guy like in japan.
coz i changed my hair.
and guys in korea dont look like girls.
cept... jaejoong.

WAHAHHAHAHAHA
go korea sweep tonns of kpop stuff home.
buy some BB~
MANI MOGO~

wooooooo
exciting.

2009-11-25T21:15:00.000-08:00

yoooo check out my take on taeyang's wedding dress
leave me a comment in my tagbox or smth k.
very much appreciated.

dope shit song below.

EVERYONE CHECK OUT THIS DOPE SHIT.

Song name's "It's Me"
Rapper is from Map The Soul (Yes Epik High's company)
his name is DOK2. pronounced DOKI.
i think it means "axe" or smth.

and the vocalist is JUYO.
he's got the most most most amazing vocals.
i fell in love with his voice immediately.

i was listening to this last night.
and i was going so super super high with boon.

AWESOME song.
epik high boys never fail to disappoint me.

enjoy peeps!

finally gotten a long long break from all the rush and hustle
SLACKing is the thing i do best.

2009-11-21T09:09:00.000-08:00

picture of the day.

bom stichie~

HAHA.

i swear she's so cute.

and she has this tendency to kidnap other members' toys.

first she kidnaps tamtam and tortures it in front of the camera.

then she kidnaps minji's stitch!

yayy.
ok it's now time to update my blog a little.
no one reads it anyway. soo...

HAHA.

firstly.

ive actually recorded myself doing all sorts of random stuffs at home.

out of the alvl stress.
will upload them very soon.

secondly.

exams are finally coming to an end and i

seriously

can't wait for it to be over.
it's killing tonns of my brain cells

on the MAMA awards

amazing perfs.

2NE1

congratulations to 2NE1 for winning best female.

a very very good musical stage.

awesome perfs by dara and bom.

and DAMN AMAZING duet by CL and MINJI.

they totally heated up the stage man!

MBLAQ

MBLAQ not winning newcomer is okay, you guys know you are the best.

rain will be prouda you guys.

a better BAD GUY performance this time.

oh did i mention,

their new perf,

has a new freaggin hot dance break

and new green costumes.

DAMNNN HOT

and here's why you should like mblaq more

they have a freaggin hot leader

that plays piano like a prodigy

looks damn hot

sings hot

and... even laughs hotly *sheepish smile*

joon. make way.

erherms... ignore... the ... protruding nipple.
the fact that he wore leather looking material
just accentuates his chest pop.
which is.
*faints

i don't wanna sound like some bloody despo fangirl that likes everything.

firstly.
the joint rapper stage.
those rappers from 4min and some other grp.
wear until so revealing.
once the senior rapper comes up and totally poons the whole stage
without even revealing a single patch of skin other than her face.
damnnn. lao kui can.

ok lah maybe miryo's pretty and sexy.
but the rest...
mm....

secondly,
i don't like KARA.
and i still don't like KARA
why are they so popular
i don't uds
their honey ROCK remix sounded so weak can.
their voices totally sound like they're singing a lullaby to a rock bg.
epic FLOP.

and dongbangshinki.
not that i don't like you anymore and im talking so little about you guys
those 3 and SM are just.
urgh.
now it's up to a stage where i don't know who's right and who's wrong.
those 3 are being inconsiderate by attending MAMA without those 2.
while SM's giving them too little money they should get.
then again you can see the 3 of them as being ... money hungry or smth.
it's just a big mess now.
and i totally dont wanna know anything about it anymore.

just give me back the dongbang i used to know

sighs.
when i go to korea
hopefully YG picks me up on the streets or smth.
HAH. fat hope....

anyway 2NE1's awesome.
and they'll always have a special special place in my heart.

2009-10-30T20:31:00.001-07:00

AHAHAHAH.
i swear mblaq is making me laugh like siao.

there's this interview of them on the tv.
then mir &* joon (2 trouble makers)
played with leader seungho's spiky stood up hair.

mir: *pretends to eat leader's hair*
joon: *probing around in leader's hair*
leader: talktalktalk (feels smth's not right) "sorry wait a moment" *looks at joon*
joon: *laughs sheepishly*

lol how funny can these 2 get.
and i realised joon get's jealous very easily.

in some radio show. thunder was imitating their boss. rain.

thunder: COME ON YO~ (the one rain always adds into his song)
joon: me too me too... * and he lets out a very sudden* " HA!"

wth.
i feel like slapping him everytime i see him do smth stupid.
hahaha!

and b2st's talent show damn funny also.
they did the jungle song acapella
the a wim ba wae a wim ba wae one.
quite nice already.
then yoseob's got this uncanny talent to imitate a bird.
and then he roared too.

lol seriously like jungle song.
and b2st is lame dao....
everytime they finish their personal talent
they're afraid no one claps for them.
so they WAWWWW! themselves first.

cube boss.
please do smth about these guys.
they're scaring mblaq.

XDXDXD

2009-10-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

PARKBOM...
u really touched my heart with ur song.
it's damn sad.
it's the first time im like feeling sad over an electronic style music.
lol

power of bommie unni.

anyway.
on starry night radio.
mblaq did some selfcam.
and GO did a dinosaur grunt which made everyone like laugh until their legs no strength.
DAMN FUNNY.

hahaha.
and leejoon's ideal type is like a very pretty figure skater.
which i will never be in my whole life.

and seungho's ideal type is.
JUN JI YOON FROM 4 MINUTE.
does this mean i got hope!?~??!~
LOL!~!!!

then again jiyoon is really pretty...
and all...
and.
aishx.

2009-10-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

kk more mblaq.
because i dont wanna share joon's abs with the world.
i shall not post too much of it on my blog.

it's holy~
XD

i came up with an f(x) phrase for joon's abs.
"i got you babe, i call i call it choco joon abs, dalkom dalkom hae choco joon abs"
(means come to me sweetly choco joon abs)

HAHA!
cool not.
kk pic spam.

ever realised.
why when he dances.
his lines are so nice and perfect.
coz he's a ballet dancer.
*pulls hair*

joon smiling cooly for the camera.
just because he knows the cam is shooting him.

and when he doesnt know the cam's on him.
this is how he looks like.
(lol he's holding on to some placards that his fans made for him. can see the LEE word.
while mir's busy collecting his)

and because i find leader cute and really really handsome too.

he's receiving too little attention.

because of his hairdo.

his hair colour.

his weird mouth shape when he sings.

when he doesnt sing he looks damn shuai.

kk enough for now~

btw. i check absolutemblaq twice a day.

sick or what. LOL

2009-10-22T19:53:00.001-07:00

little joonie stickin out his tongueeee.
ok he's older than me.
but i still like calling him little.

and he's a workout freak O_O
guys...
kk. not like im complaining.
if he doesnt work out there will be no chocoabs for my eyecandy.

GO and Mir are damn funny.
LOL
so unexpected from the calm and reserved GO

their manager just finished speaking to them only.
then their manager left.
then GO and Mir like immediately started flailing their arms around
LOL.
it's damnnnn funny.

omg.

something shocking happened.

my dad bought me cheesecake from bakerzin.

O_O

screams*

first time in my whole life.

2009-10-22T03:34:00.000-07:00

tadah... the legendary lee joon ive been talking about.
k he's not exactly the most good looking guy on earth.
but he's got this charisma
this cuteness
and his chocolate abs

that attract me a lot a lot.
his smile
*bzzzt*
faints.

k.
proves that if you wear eye liner.
you actually look better.
LOL.
make up does wonders huh.

lee joon at the fanmeeting after their performance.
see his holy.. "cough" holy shirt under that jacket?
lol it's hot.
and it succeeded in the
"now you see it now you don't"
strategy.

okay... maybe it's just me.

MBLAW with rain's manager. there's a total of 5 members.
clockwise from left top corner.

byunghee aka G.O. aka AH PEK. (me and boon call him ah pek)
Mir (go eun ah's little brother. looks a bit like hongki)
cheongdoong aka Thunder (sandara park's lil bro)
lee joon (my fav...)
leader ... shit i forgot his name.
oh well.
XDXD

and MBLAQ looks damn manly.
but are actually damn lame and cute.

they actually spammed on each other's cyworld blogs.
i was laughing so hard at their replies.
esp lee joon.
omgg.
who would expect someone like him to be so
"cold"

fan wrote on thunder's: chundoong can speak 4 languages?
lee joon: i can speak 1234113464 languages

mir wrote a message to ask fans to check out their live broadcast
lee joon: yes... i will go to watch
(bai chi lorh he. aint he performing)

thunder: (he wrote a short i love you message for fans)
lee joon: what have you been doing for 30 minutes?
thunder: i was eating chips

Mir: doong doong hyung (refering to thunder), don't ask why we're fighting. just join in.
(this is weird.. coz Mir is the youngest yes... but thunder's the second youngest. O_O don't tell me he's fighting with his childish hyungs....)

Mir: doong doong hyung, who's been writing for the past 30 mins, are you sleeping?
(no replies by thunder though so he spams ah pek)

Mir: GO hyung. i just saw pictures of me with my nipples showing -__- I want to wear a bra T.T
(after you watch the mv you'll know why im laughing so hard.
he was rapping so coolly.
and suddenly he wants to wear a bra!?~)
ah pek: Don't wear one

(triggered on by ah pek's reply... he goes on to spam more)

Mir: Hyung (referring to ah pek), when you're sleeping, im going to shave off your facial hair.
(no replies by ah pek, but he must be like O_____________O)

Lee Joon: What have you been doing for the past 20 minutes, Cheon Doong?
Thunder: I was eating crackers
(seems like thunder keeps eating and eating. but he's still so skinny)

2009-10-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

time is trickling like jururuk.
and remedials are a waste of time.
shit.
it's coming soon.
it's gonna be over soon.
but im just gonna try whatever i can.
within this short period of time.

and the only thing.
im amused about these days.
is how amusing LG phones can be called.
LG chocolate.
LG ice cream
LG cookie.

it's not long before they use LG marshmellow
LG pudding.

or if they wanna add some korean flavour.
they can have LG patsoobing.

and anyway.
recent craze.
not supposed to have.
but.
i got electrified.
by MBLAQ's lee joon.

cute and charismatic face.
manly.
chocolate abs

WOOOO.

2009-10-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

aigoo yahh.
guess who this is.

YES IT'S AMBER.
and she's walking with heels.

omgg. she more powderful than me already.
and i still thought there were people like me in the world.
who can't ever balance on heels and always falls down.

she's got that model
sian sian face though.
hahahaha~

SHE'S WALKING ON HEELS.
imitating pei ci" OH MA GAAA~~~~"

shocking totally.
O_O

2009-10-14T07:29:00.001-07:00

i finally.
found back my love for bio.
it's so amazing.
how your body actually reacts to stuff.
so many things are happening inside this small entity.

stupid mock exams.
it'll drain away my travelling time
urghhhh.
break my studying pace.

last leap.
i'll give my all.
i dont know why.
but once i put my head into studying.
all the doubts and worries disappeared.

i just know.
i like bio.
i like maths
i like chem.
don't really like econs.

and i really like studying what i study now.
just for the sake of studying~
^_^

LOVE BIO! <3<3<3

2009-10-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

aigoo yah... ok don't let ur gaze get drawn away by GD's jacket.
that's not the pt.
CL's cap is the pt. see the red elmo cap~
it's from new era. SO CUTE!!!
I WANTTTTTTTTTTT~

the new era ethereal cap. DAMN SWEE

new era X sesame street: cookie monster version
personally. i favour cookie monster over elmo.
so. cookie monster wins anytime.

very very cool new era dribble squash atlanta brave.

damn chio.

last but not least.

the one with the gigantic A~

new era chillin atlanta brave

urgh . i need to save some money

and fly to korea to get some.

2009-10-09T03:53:00.000-07:00

GAHHHH. i want this New Era 59fifty DOMO KUN CAPPPPPP~~
it's so blardee cute.
hefty cost as well O_O
imma post more gorgeous caps up.
New Era caps are love.
I saw CL wearing an elmo cap, also from New Era.
SO JEALOUS.
urgh. why doesn't singapore have cute caps like that.

Farewell assembly today.
Special thanks to PSG for coffee satchets and sunflower seeds.
School for giving us white chocolate lollipops.
And the awesome phoenix for the phoenix burn badge and a PHOENIX umbrella!
Damn cool yo.
Love ya guys.

Great perf line up.
Cept I hated the male host.
while the female host is desperate trying to save him.
there he is thinking that he's the funniest guy on earth,
umm-ing and trying so hard to tell lame jokes,
he's failing to make an coherent speech.

nic's dancing is damn imba.
hahahaha.
she totally outshone those people dancing around her can.
only cool peeps are the girl dancing beside her which is pretty awesome too.
and THAT AWESOME GUY
who put so much emotion into his solo lyrical hiphop

AND HE EVEN fell on the ground with his body straight
and sprung up from that position.
omgg
imba-ness
UPS to you.

everyone was also wow-ing at nic's muscles.
puhahah nic i know u hate ur muscles.

After that went to meet air rifle babes.
Chaili Kailing Louise.
Went to the korean restaurant at raffles.
Boomz man.
So many people.
finally got a table to seat.
and Finally ordered my kimchi jjigae which i have been craving for so long.

After I finished my meal I was like.
MAN ZUUU~

Then chaili went to play badminton with her class.
Lou went for... mmm. forgot what she went for.
Kailing had night class.

So I went over to studio wu at SMU to collect my prize.
wooots.
saw choonhui and celine there.
like.
MANZZZZ. it's been long.
both of them were like " EHHH!
hen jiu mei you kan dao ni liao leh!"

CH: ni deng yi xia hah.
me: ok

after a long wait...
grabbing 3 post cards.
one with sexy choon hui, one with sexy belly dance teacher
another one with adrian.

CH and adrian i know so i took.
belly dance coz my mom wanted to learn

CH: ok hao le. na ge wang ba dan. aiyooo. nong dao wo hen luan leh.
wo wen ta.
"so you want to take open class or course?"
then ta gen wo " YES"
omgg.

....

and we crapped one whole shit.
hahaha.
feels good to be talking to her again.
i have been missing her for a year already.

MISS YOU CHOONHUI!

Celine was busy surfing the net and answering calls so...
and the management was having a meeting.

So I finally got my prize.
my SW vouchers.
but the shirts are not ready yet.
=.=
seriously ..
the criteria was that only 5 colours were allowed.
but somehow the winning design had more than 5 lorh.

even CH was also damn confused.
she also feels it was unfair.

i mean.
that design's like so dispersed.
on ONE look you can't even tell it's for studio wu.
urgh.

then i bade her farewell.
celine too.
and she told me to takkaire .
could feel it was from the bottom of her heart.

before i left she shouted
CH: ni yao kuai dian hui lai horh! wo hen lonely leh!"
me: A lvls yi wan wo jiu hui lai!

haha. she was so worried that i might miss her classes.
coz she's leavin for japan for 1 month to upgrade herself.
but i told her
my exams just started by then.
by the time my exams end,
she'll be back already.

kk lurh.
will load some interesting pictures up tmr.
=.=
I will put in my best effort for a lvls so that even if i don't do well.
I will not regret.
Just... blame myself for not being smart.

FINAL NOTE:
i still hate smart people.
i really do.

2009-10-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

epic statement of the week
freudian slip committed by the maths teacher.
teacher: length times breast ... O_O

jaejoong ah...
im finding it hard to pull through now...

whenever i find strength and confidence again.
another thing comes to hit me smack in the face.
i actually scored 18/40 for mcq when other people are scoring 27.
it's not like i know lesser than the other people.

so what the hell is wrong with me.
is my attitude of finishing it quickly getting over the requirement of finding the definite correct answer?

im feeling very very aweful right now.
and i don't have an outlet where i can release it.
i never had so little confidence in myself
and im feeling very inferior
i need some faith.

jaejoong ah.
give me some of your strength.
to help me survive.
pull through this ordeal
and excel in whatever i wish to do.

2009-10-04T05:57:00.001-07:00

RARHHHH.
throw behind all failures.
look at what went wrong.
make full use of the time u have.
make the impossible possible.
JIAYOU.

You have a goal.
Aim high.
Dropping hard comes later.

ganbarimasu.
AJA AJA FIGHTING.
remember jaejoong.
he was tone deaf.
but he kept trying and trying and trying for what he really wanted.
now he's a successful singer.

life is full of ups and downs.
although my life is full of downs.
jaejoong.
i will persevere coz you showed me that
if i don't give up, i will shine brighter.

FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's so hard to get

2009-10-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

I am so disappointed with myself.
First time I scored so low for GP
First time I scored so low for Bio.
Really makes me worried...

While looking for Mr Toh to correct some calculation errors,
He looked at me with that kind of disappointed face.
I really felt damn guilty.

My essays were a complete flop this time.
5/20
9.5/20
What happened.

Maybe coz I didnt even cover the J1 syllabus.
But then again there wasn't enough time.
Oh well.
I'm really disappointed.

But this time im not going to scar my arms.
I must work even harder for this.

But before I get ready for my next push.
I really have to rest enough to let my body feel like mugging.

Even now,
My brain keeps telling me I have to mug.
My body doesn't comply.
My body's totally exhausted from all the continuous mugging...
I hardly rested.

Please.
Don't let me fall now.
If I fall now,
I will not be able to face myself forever.

2009-10-01T01:24:00.000-07:00

die lurh.
this is the first time i did so badly for bio.
just because i didnt cover the syllabus properly i chose the wrong question to do.
ending up only scoring 5 out of 20 for essay.
also didnt finish paper.

die lurhh
how to go uni like this.

only thing i can do now.
is to keep mugging.
what to do.
not SMART what.

i dont wanna go to school tmr.
dreadful...

went home from school with bernice today.
lena wanted to go mrt to top up her card.
and eat some ridiculous yoghurt thing which charged by grams.

it was so surprising.
because this was the first time i actually managed to talk damn long with her.
O_O
it was always the "yeah i acknowledge your existence" kind of talk.

it's so hard to keep up a convo with her normally.
dont know why.
maybe brain difference.

2009-09-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

OMGG.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
I PASSED MATHS!

i risked this time to change a mugging method.
and it worked!

like finally can!
maybe i should try this for chem and bio.

i was so happy.
i kicked chaili's chair in front of me.
and i told her

"i passed maths!"
and being the cynic she is.
"i passed maths too"
how encouraging.

and i was still happy.
despite not doing that well for econs.

i went home
"i passed maths!" to my mom.
"hah. borderline only lah. ur class got people get A or not"
me: "of course lah"
mom:" HAH~"

from then on.
i swore.
i wont my mom my grades anymore.

how encouraging man.
not everyone cut out for studying one what.
just because im not dongkun
just because im not gabriel chee
just because im not bernice gan.
doesnt mean im useless.

it's just bloody singapore.
the government.
that is making people think.
if you can't mug.
ure useless as a vegetable rotting on the ground.

i bloody jumped from a U grade to a D can.
but all these reactions ive been receiving didnt make me JUMP for joy.

id rather talk to a doll like this can.
i dont care if people call me schizo or what.
at least the doll smiles at me as a form of encouragement
and doesnt pour cold water on me.

i shall share my joy with amber in the computer screen.
see she smiles at me too.

6/1's gathering at whitesands.
my pri 6 people.
so long since ive met them.
should meet up with them and have a nice long talk.
before i go into hermit mode again.

my comp.
will share my joy.
i have a feeling, me passing maths.
is partially due to amber.
O_O f(x).
it got me interested.

see what's weird in this picture?
yes amber's wearing something different.
she's WEARING A BLOODY GUY's TRAD COSTUME.
but she still looks damn hot nevertheless

still my shuai shuai amber.
sulli looks so cute.
*disses xiaowei*

ive put in all my effort for econs.
ive spent tonns of hours studying chem.
i read bio.
and i dont get why.
my efforts are not paying off.

and other people just have to scan their notes and they score ABC damn easily?
why aren't these people in gifted stream or smth.

of course
i can't blame god for giving me such a dull brain.
what to do.
i stupid leh.
just because im stupid.
the society looks down on us.
teachers look down on us.
the smart people say they don't.
but im sure they do.

ugh.
im turning so sour.

reality.
really moulds you into a different person.

where is my past?
where i was so ambitious about my future career.

but anyway.
thankyou ms farah.
and my chem lifesaver mr goofy teo.
for giving me so much encouragement while i felt down today.
they reassured me.
i could do it.

even if the whole world looks down on me.
even if lady luck doesnt shine on me.
even if my parents and teachers gave up on me.
i must not give up on myself.

i'll make them eat their words in defeat.

SHINee Funny Helium Voice - Taemin + Key (Night DVD Cut 5)

2009-09-27T20:15:00.001-07:00

I can't help but post this.
HAHA. key and taemin's helium voices.
taemin: annyeong ah? *gets surpsised by his own voice* ahahaha~

key: ANNYEONG PUSSY CAT~ HA HA HA HA HA~

-*i was like lol-ing like mad*

then the whole shinee carrying balloons and chasing after taemin on a bicycle. sweet.

2009-09-27T03:49:00.000-07:00

Mm...
I don't understand why.
It's always like this.

When you just made friends.
They will really treasure your existence.

But after awhile.
They take you for granted.
You talk to them they don't answer.
Worse is when their mood's bad they take it out on you.

I mean.
Even if you find the person uninteresting already.
They should not be treated with that kind of attitude!

Sometimes I wonder whether is it my fault?
I don't like people to change my schedule once i planned it out for the day.
Even if there are changes, I can't tolerate last minute changes.
At least 3 hours before must notify me.

It's prolly just me being anal.
Making myself angry for nothing.

But I really don't like promises to be broken.
I really dont like that.

2009-09-25T10:51:00.000-07:00

Woohoo!
I revamped the blog a little.
I made the banner myself too.
DAMN PROUD of myself. puhahahahah.

ive been like diggin these caps recently.
they look awesome.
2 more stuffs up on my wishlist.
actually. i just wanna collect more caps mahahaha~

59fifty school boy atlanta brave

59fifty white on white.

DAMN COOL RIGHT.

*faints*

prelims over.

now's just the ending of the beginning.

muahahah.

still. *lols at ris low's steel*

i need to hang out with my peeps awhile.

lets see...

my IP dudes

08S35 peeps

primary sch dudes

air rifle babes

O_O f(x) sg? XDXDXD

wooo

i love amber.

she's HOTTTT

2009-09-23T22:28:00.000-07:00

YAYYY. audrey won a prize.
ok maybe not top...
but aishx. i'll try harder.
my first try at adobe illustrator though.
pretty good already.

stupid awi got my name wrongly.
since when was my surname chan.

they only limited the colours to 5 though.
but the winning design has at least 7 colours?
WTH.
never keep to rules still can win.
im damn not happy can.

2009-09-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

SIGHSSSSS
still having exams.

so worried that i forget everything i studied already.
was concentrating on maths.

realised you need good sleep to do well in maths
well i didnt sleep well for the 1st paper.
was having problems thinking during the maths paper

somehow my neurotransmission system like slowed down somehow

after this round of torture there's going to be a 2nd round.
almost immediately.

then it'll pretty much be the end of the hardest time in life.
sighs...

this is the first time im taking exams
with so little confidence in myself.

gotta have faith huh.

anyway... to kace marcos.
if ure reading this.
ure so hot, so don't worry about that girl and all accusin you of cheating.
go find another girl who trusts you and is worthy of your love.
don't broad about it too much
you can come talk to me if ure sad yeh~

need to read through bio again~
O_O forgot a lot of things

[Audio] SHINee - Abracadabra 아.미.고 Remix

2009-09-16T21:51:00.001-07:00

SHINee remix with Brown Eyed Girl's abracadabra! omgg. it sounds very very nice!

[[*feel the fate*]]

FUCK

SHINee Funny Helium Voice - Taemin + Key (Night DVD Cut 5)

[Audio] SHINee - Abracadabra 아.미.고 Remix

[[feel the fate]]